Daughter struggling at school

Hello, I have an academically smart  daughter who was diagnosed with  ASD in primary school in KS1. She has now begun high school and we are struggling tremendously. She has never had an EHCP because she functions well at school except for the sensory and social aspects. She has struggled greatly with the sensory aspects of school since starting high school. It's particularly loud for her. She is unable to perform well in the lessons due to the commotion and the manner in which they are taught in comparison to primary school.

She doesn't drink at school since the bathrooms are locked and she is afraid to use them. She also does not eat at school, which certainly does not help her mood. She refuses to attend school on Wednesdays and appears gloomy and disconnected from everyone  since beginning at this school I assume she's very over stimulated . The school can't put anything in place, they say, because she's academically able to function , so all they provided her was a seat at the back of the class and that she can wear her ear defenders during the movement of lessons , which baffles me. Apparently, even though she has a diagnosis, she requires an EHCP to put more things in place. My daughter was likewise diagnosed with ADHD six months ago as our doctor was concerned this was over looked when she was diagnosed with ASD in her early years . 

The school agrees that she needs more, but they can't do anything without the EHCP. Could someone please help? Can anything be done without this legally binding document? Isn't the fact that my daughter has an official diagnosis of Asd and ADHD enough for the school to put everything in place? Is there not a law that they should obey if your child has special needs?

Parents
  • It makes me feel so sad to read this. Your daughter is being let down by her school and the education system. This issue of the EHCP is so infuriating. A child either needs help and support or doesn’t - not having an EHCP shouldn’t be used as an excuse not to give children the help they need. As you say - your daughter has a diagnosis of Autism and ADHD - that in itself clearly demonstrates that she has extra needs. It must be so frustrating for you all - I’m so sorry. Incidentally- my son has an EHCP and he still didn’t get the support he needed - so it’s no guarantee even when you do have one.

    My instinct in these circumstances is always to put your concerns in writing - and to send it to every relevant person you can think of. Be clear about what your concerns are and what you are asking for. Autism is a disability- and institutions have an obligation and a duty to make ‘reasonable adjustments’ for a person with a disability. Think about what adjustments the school could make for your daughter that would be helpful for her. If your daughter is willing to discuss what she feels she needs then that’s the starting point. What is making her unhappy, what stresses her out, where are the pressures coming from regarding her time in school. What does she need? 

    I know it’s important to keep a positive relationship with the school - but you also have to be firm about their responsibility to support your child in a way that enables her to learn and thrive. It’s not ok for them to just say “she hasn’t got an EHCP so we can’t help her” - they can’t wash their hands of her in that way.

    And as for the issue with drinking and the bathrooms being locked - that’s a totally unacceptable situation and has health implications for your daughter. I would fight that 100%. What about girls who are having their periods too? It’s outrageous. I’d write a letter to the school and the LA and I would also copy in your MP. 
    We have to stand up for the rights of our children. They only get one chance at their education and they deserve a certain standard of education and a healthy environment where they are well supported - and sadly too often this isn’t the case. Good luck!

Reply
  • It makes me feel so sad to read this. Your daughter is being let down by her school and the education system. This issue of the EHCP is so infuriating. A child either needs help and support or doesn’t - not having an EHCP shouldn’t be used as an excuse not to give children the help they need. As you say - your daughter has a diagnosis of Autism and ADHD - that in itself clearly demonstrates that she has extra needs. It must be so frustrating for you all - I’m so sorry. Incidentally- my son has an EHCP and he still didn’t get the support he needed - so it’s no guarantee even when you do have one.

    My instinct in these circumstances is always to put your concerns in writing - and to send it to every relevant person you can think of. Be clear about what your concerns are and what you are asking for. Autism is a disability- and institutions have an obligation and a duty to make ‘reasonable adjustments’ for a person with a disability. Think about what adjustments the school could make for your daughter that would be helpful for her. If your daughter is willing to discuss what she feels she needs then that’s the starting point. What is making her unhappy, what stresses her out, where are the pressures coming from regarding her time in school. What does she need? 

    I know it’s important to keep a positive relationship with the school - but you also have to be firm about their responsibility to support your child in a way that enables her to learn and thrive. It’s not ok for them to just say “she hasn’t got an EHCP so we can’t help her” - they can’t wash their hands of her in that way.

    And as for the issue with drinking and the bathrooms being locked - that’s a totally unacceptable situation and has health implications for your daughter. I would fight that 100%. What about girls who are having their periods too? It’s outrageous. I’d write a letter to the school and the LA and I would also copy in your MP. 
    We have to stand up for the rights of our children. They only get one chance at their education and they deserve a certain standard of education and a healthy environment where they are well supported - and sadly too often this isn’t the case. Good luck!

Children
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