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Daughter struggling at school

NAS85182

Hello, I have an academically smart  daughter who was diagnosed with  ASD in primary school in KS1. She has now begun high school and we are struggling tremendously. She has never had an EHCP because she functions well at school except for the sensory and social aspects. She has struggled greatly with the sensory aspects of school since starting high school. It's particularly loud for her. She is unable to perform well in the lessons due to the commotion and the manner in which they are taught in comparison to primary school.

She doesn't drink at school since the bathrooms are locked and she is afraid to use them. She also does not eat at school, which certainly does not help her mood. She refuses to attend school on Wednesdays and appears gloomy and disconnected from everyone  since beginning at this school I assume she's very over stimulated . The school can't put anything in place, they say, because she's academically able to function , so all they provided her was a seat at the back of the class and that she can wear her ear defenders during the movement of lessons , which baffles me. Apparently, even though she has a diagnosis, she requires an EHCP to put more things in place. My daughter was likewise diagnosed with ADHD six months ago as our doctor was concerned this was over looked when she was diagnosed with ASD in her early years . 

The school agrees that she needs more, but they can't do anything without the EHCP. Could someone please help? Can anything be done without this legally binding document? Isn't the fact that my daughter has an official diagnosis of Asd and ADHD enough for the school to put everything in place? Is there not a law that they should obey if your child has special needs?

Parents

  • I feel for your struggles. My son is in High School, has ASD & ADHD but is at the lower end of the ability range. He does have an EHCP but sometimes struggles with adjustments, not wanting to look different. 

    He rarely eats much at school because the ADHD meds suppress his appetite. Regarding drinks he takes a bottle of water which is the expectation. Is it possible for her to take her own bottle?

    Your comment about Wednesdays is interesting as my son often misses Wednesday as he feels too unwell due to anxiety. A whole week is often too difficult. The fact that she can't manage a whole week shows that more support is needed for her wellbeing.

    High School is so different from Primary with so much change to negotiate. I am wondering if she has been able to say the things she finds particularly difficult. For example, is the noise in the corridor on changeovers hard, but would be easier if she could leave class before others or are lunchtimes too noisy and she would benefit from a quiet activity? I am thinking if you can make any other suggestions to the SENCO they might take them on board. 

  • in reply to Homebird

    Isn't it interesting that your kid dislikes Wednesdays as well? Maybe they are just overstimulated on Wednesdays.The water problem arises because the school restrooms are locked until social time, resulting in a huge wait, and she is frightened to drink water at school as a consequence. She generally complains about the loudness, so she gets to leave a few minutes sooner to beat the crowd. Nonetheless, it seems that her high school's classes are more noisier.She isn't very skilled at expressing feelings, so she doesn't say much. Instead, she has major meltdowns that evolve into panic episodes that may continue for hours. I've had a few meetings with the senco, but I'm constantly informed they're limited since many of the difficulties are sensory. which I understand since you can't truly alter the surroundingsI'm at a loss for ideas myself. To be honest, I'm simply questioning whether mainstream is the proper place for her.

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  • in reply to Homebird

    Isn't it interesting that your kid dislikes Wednesdays as well? Maybe they are just overstimulated on Wednesdays.The water problem arises because the school restrooms are locked until social time, resulting in a huge wait, and she is frightened to drink water at school as a consequence. She generally complains about the loudness, so she gets to leave a few minutes sooner to beat the crowd. Nonetheless, it seems that her high school's classes are more noisier.She isn't very skilled at expressing feelings, so she doesn't say much. Instead, she has major meltdowns that evolve into panic episodes that may continue for hours. I've had a few meetings with the senco, but I'm constantly informed they're limited since many of the difficulties are sensory. which I understand since you can't truly alter the surroundingsI'm at a loss for ideas myself. To be honest, I'm simply questioning whether mainstream is the proper place for her.

Children
  • in reply to NAS85182

    I can understand her not expressing feelings, my son struggles with that and at times has messaged us for help. 

    Regarding the noise, some schools have a card system where they can show a card if they need to go somewhere quieter.

    Regarding Wednesdays, I think after two days of masking and coping with sensory overload the body can need a break. When the last teacher's strike it helped my son to have that break.

    I agree about putting things in writing. We had problems with verbal meetings at Primary as later they denied what had been said. I have heard suggestions from others if you have an in person meeting to email them after to confirm what was said. 

    Regarding the meltdowns due to her not coping in school, my son had many problems with this in Primary. We kept a diary of anything that happened in school and when meltdowns occured. We originally applied for an EHCP because of his anxiety. At this time he was not diagnosed with ASD. Using the links between what happened in school and the subsequent meltdowns helped in eventually getting an EHCP. 

    It might be worth looking on the school website at their policies which could be referenced in emails to school. I would also refer to wellbeing.

    I hope you are able to resolve the issues and the school can improve her experience.