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Is just 'coping well' good enough?

tbag

My daughter has just started high school. She was diagnosed with Autism in the summer holidays. I always knew she was. She has never made friends at school, she is well behaved at school so her primary school didn't support my concerns for her. My 3 year old son is severly Autistic, he is already diagnosed and recieves lots of support. My daughter is high functioning, she gets very little support. So far her high school have been OK, we have had a few hiccups, like being put on the spot to answer a question in class ( she does not like other children hearing her voice in a big group) and being told off and threatened with detention for being late (she has no concept of time and cant tell the time). Once the teachers get to know her, these hiccups can be overcome. However, my question is; is this good enough? Is it Ok to be socially isloated like she was at primary school? Shouldn't the school do more to support her in this area and if so what should or could they do? Getting through the day without displaying disstress seems enough for the teachers to be satisfied that she has had a good day! I don't feel the same. She can't always show she is distressed, she comes home and tells me her day was horrendous. She eats lunch alone in the learner support classroom and will not go in the playgound. She speaks well with adults 1:1 and is good at reading and writing, this has meant that any support for her is limited. On he last day of term at the end of year 6 I took her to an indoor play place on our own (my son has severe sensory processing dissorder and cant cope with these places). We walked through the playground past groups of children hugging and crying and going off to celebrate together, my daughter didn't say bye to anyone. It broke my heart.

Parents

  • Thank you both for your responses.I don't think she will ever feel OK in crowds or large groups, she described everyone coming out of school as 'like the sea, coming to drown me'.But unfortunatly I think my daughter would like a friend, she just can't make any, she won't speak in front of others. She is very isolated and the other children think she is odd. My mum supports me with my son so that I can take her to the cinema and swimming etc.

    I too found it very difficult to get a diagnosis for my daughter, she is a mixture of 'passive' and 'active but odd'. Her primary school refused to support a referral for assesment, my G.P only reffered her when I took her there and begged because she was self harming due to anxiety. To help get a diagnosis I sent her to a registerd childminder once a week for 6 months and asked her to make observations etc, so that I had evidence in a second setting!

Reply

  • Thank you both for your responses.I don't think she will ever feel OK in crowds or large groups, she described everyone coming out of school as 'like the sea, coming to drown me'.But unfortunatly I think my daughter would like a friend, she just can't make any, she won't speak in front of others. She is very isolated and the other children think she is odd. My mum supports me with my son so that I can take her to the cinema and swimming etc.

    I too found it very difficult to get a diagnosis for my daughter, she is a mixture of 'passive' and 'active but odd'. Her primary school refused to support a referral for assesment, my G.P only reffered her when I took her there and begged because she was self harming due to anxiety. To help get a diagnosis I sent her to a registerd childminder once a week for 6 months and asked her to make observations etc, so that I had evidence in a second setting!

Children
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