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Supporting an adult to go to the doctors

NAS85075

Hi there, I wondered if anyone had encountered a similar situation and could share any advice or tips, please. 

My adult son (diagnosed autistic) has been having symptoms of chronic illness for the last year. He is unwilling to discuss his symptoms or see a doctor. If I speak to him about it he blanks me out. It has got to the point where he is clearly very unwell and he can rarely go out. His mental health is also very poor (although similarly will not seek help). I have called 111, and as he wouldn't speak to them himself all they could suggest was to ask here if anyone else had a similar experience. We live together and I am available if he did need me to go with him. 

I am extremely worried about him and scared for him. Could anyone suggest any approaches that could be successful in supporting him to make and attend an appointment with a healthcare provider? 

Thanks all

  • If your son is seriously unwell, he WILL be going to the doctors or hospital soon.  Explain that reality to him.

    If he "chooses" to go now, he will have far more control over that event.  If he "chooses" NOT to go now, WHEN he is taken, he will likely have no control over that event whatsoever.

    This might sound harsh - but logic can be.  It might be that your son needs to hear simple and plain spoken logic?

    I proffer this as an option.....not necessarily one that I would advocate.  But desperation is the mother of invention.

  • Doctors are scary. Illness takes away control of your body but doctors just make you feel worse about this by making you feel even more out of control of your body as they more or less railroad you into the standard treatment path.

    one way to help your son regain some control is to do some Google medical research into what his illness might possibly be and what the treatment options are. Then when he goes to the doctor he will have a sense of what tests and treatments might be suggested and can have meaningful input into the course of action that is taken. 

  • in reply to Catlover

    Thanks for your reply. He has been previously, but I think it's a combination of mistrust of other people and not wanting to talk about his illness. 

  • in reply to Dawn

    I'm so sorry to hear you are having trouble accessing help. Could I ask what kind of support you would find most useful, if you don't mind sharing? 

  • Would he be more inclined to open up at home with a doctors visit? 
    might he write down what is bothering him, and you can take this to the dr on his behalf?

    can you talk to him about what bothers him about the doctors? Is it because he doesn’t like leaving the house? Doesn’t know what the building looks like? Too many sensory or ocd issues there? 

  • Oh boy, so getting this one.  Anything medical is a nightmare for me.  I'm trying to get support to go, but it only seems to be available in our area for the intellectually impaired.

    If your son is not intellectually impaired then there is ultimately not much you can do to override his free will to go or not go.  What you could do is approach the doctor yourself.  He/she will not be able to discuss your son's care with you, but can take information from you.  You could explain that you think he is very unwell but that you believe the fact that he is autistic is preventing him from seeking help and that you are concerned.  The GP could then reach out to him and try to get him whatever support he needs to get through an examination.