• Replies 4 replies
  • Subscribers 67 subscribers
  • Views 953 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

SENDCo comment upset me

Nikmum

Hi everyone, I posted the below issue on the AADD forum but it's not very active.  I have posted on here before and had quick replies.  It's ADHD related not ASD however I thought other parents might be able to relate & give some advice.

Over a year ago I discussed my concerns with my Son's school that I think he may be on the Autism spectrum, at the time I didn't know that ADHD & ASD traits can overlap.  A referral needed to come from the school, however when the SENDCo teacher observed my son in class, she said there were no issues and I don't need to worry as he's doing fine.  He has always performed well at school & again at the time I didn't know that you could be "high functioning" & on the spectrum.  

My instinct told me something wasn't adding up as we were really struggling at home.  When I asked her if it would be worthwhile seeking a private assessment, she said to me, over the phone that it was a lot of money & why would I want a label on my son when he's obviously doing fine.  It did make me think twice & when I asked a couple of private companies, they were not assessing children of his age (7 at the time).  Forward a year & a bit, he's almost 10 & we did get a private assessment in December for ASD & ADHD & he was diagnosed with ADHD.  This has come as a relief as we can understand him so much better & explain things to him also, so although we still have some meltdowns, it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be.


After my son was diagnosed, I spoke to the Head & deputy at his school & said that I was really unhappy with the SENDCo's advice / opinion & that she should not be talking in these terms i.e saying that it's a label.   I've said that I want this addressed with her, but they are telling me that she is unwell & I get the feeling they just want me to drop it.  My children are at an independent school & this means that the school does not have a statutory obligation to follow the SEND code of practise beyond EYFS.  I accept that, however I don't understand how it's acceptable for a SENDCo employed by the school to talk in these terms to concerned parents.  

How would you want this resolved? 

Parents

  • Hi , unfortunately I'd say this kind of experience happens all too frequently. I've spoken to literally hundreds of parents who have told me similar stories. A SENDCo's opinion is just one of many, and, of course, it's the parents who see their own child the most (including, as you say, in the completely different environment of the home). So it must be maddening when your viewpoint isn't taken on board. For most kids, neurodivergent or suspected neurodivervent, going for an assessment is just the first step in getting the support they need. And whether they see it as 'labelling' or not, a diagnosis can open up a whole new world of understanding for kids and parents alike.

    As far as the SENDCo goes, giving the benefit of the doubt, she was probably trying to give you her best guess based on her experiences with other parents. It's a tough job but the advice should never be one-size-fits all. When you first raised the possibility of taking your son for an assessment, that probably should have been the start of a dialogue with the not only the SENDCo but other relevant school staff. Instead, from the sounds of it, you just got the one phonecall! Perhaps instead of focusing on the individual, you could lobby the school to put in place more thorough processes for when a parent first raises the idea that their child might need additional support. It may work, it may not, but based on what you've described it sounds like it's needed!

Reply

  • Hi , unfortunately I'd say this kind of experience happens all too frequently. I've spoken to literally hundreds of parents who have told me similar stories. A SENDCo's opinion is just one of many, and, of course, it's the parents who see their own child the most (including, as you say, in the completely different environment of the home). So it must be maddening when your viewpoint isn't taken on board. For most kids, neurodivergent or suspected neurodivervent, going for an assessment is just the first step in getting the support they need. And whether they see it as 'labelling' or not, a diagnosis can open up a whole new world of understanding for kids and parents alike.

    As far as the SENDCo goes, giving the benefit of the doubt, she was probably trying to give you her best guess based on her experiences with other parents. It's a tough job but the advice should never be one-size-fits all. When you first raised the possibility of taking your son for an assessment, that probably should have been the start of a dialogue with the not only the SENDCo but other relevant school staff. Instead, from the sounds of it, you just got the one phonecall! Perhaps instead of focusing on the individual, you could lobby the school to put in place more thorough processes for when a parent first raises the idea that their child might need additional support. It may work, it may not, but based on what you've described it sounds like it's needed!

Children
No Data