Good manners?

My daughter (9, likely AS) can sometimes be, what would be considered as, very rude. For instance, my mum kindly took her out for a trip with some other family members on a boat ride up the river.  On returning I asked my daughter if she had a good day, she said 'No, it was boring' which is bad enough in front of my mum.  I asked her to say thank you to Nanny for taking her out but she refused.  I felt terrible, so embarrassed. On hindsight I think her Aspergers mind worked it out as 'Why should I say thank you? I didn't enjoy it'. Fair enough, but she has to learn that it is only right to say thank you when you're given anything, even if it's not really what you want, if you get what I mean?

Should I push it?  I don't want her to be seen as an ungrateful brat (perhaps she is?) I also don't want to use AS as an excuse for rudeness.  I know if I push the issue at the time it's likely to cause a major strop from her and probably in me losing my temper.  Trying to broach the subject after is tricky when it's 'out of context', she ends up having a strop, then I can't talk to her at all.

Aww, I feel such a bad parent, I try to be understanding and tolerant but my NT mind just doesn't 'get it' sometimes!

Parents
  • Thanks Scorpion, I consider myself duly chastised Undecided

    I hope you realise my goal was not to upset her but try get her to understand that I want to help? Feel a bit sh*t about it TBH. Frown

    Mum of 3 - Mum was a bit 'put out' by her refusing to say thank you, but she knows my daughter and wouldn't take it heart.  It was me that felt more awkward I expect. Leah understands what is expected now though, so in that department, all good. Smile

     

Reply
  • Thanks Scorpion, I consider myself duly chastised Undecided

    I hope you realise my goal was not to upset her but try get her to understand that I want to help? Feel a bit sh*t about it TBH. Frown

    Mum of 3 - Mum was a bit 'put out' by her refusing to say thank you, but she knows my daughter and wouldn't take it heart.  It was me that felt more awkward I expect. Leah understands what is expected now though, so in that department, all good. Smile

     

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