As my son is 57 it will come as no surprise to you to read than I am 78, and I am very tired. Jonathan was diagnosed with autism only about 7 years ago, once I put my foot down with his psychiatrist. However, the diagnosis has not been of any real help, the facilities in the town where we live are practically nil. Even his current psychiatrist has only SEEN him once in the past 3 years. Even then it is just to check on his pills - which just make him fat. He has a social worker but only sees him if I ask that he make the effort. He weighs over 21 stone now; he is asthmatic and smokes about 20 cigarettes a day, he plays fruit machines whenever he can (he says it makes him happy), he does not shower willingly, he takes no exercise, he cannot keep himself properly clean toilet-wise, he is addicted to coke (the pop) and he has recently started drinking too much alcohol. He is extremely untidy and refuses to try to keep his room from getting messy. He has developed a really strong stutter and slurs his words, making it very difficult indeed to understand him. He seems to feel rage most of the time, and is constantly fighting verbally with me and his carers. He 'hates' us all. He is money-mad and over the years has sold any amount of technical, electronic possessions in order to make more money. He tells lies all the time
It sounds as though I have never cared for him, but nothing could be further from the truth. I love him very much, but find his worst behaviour totally unacceptable. I have struggled with the authorities for years and supported him in all the various living conditions that he has tried once he left home when he was in his 20's. They have all failed, and it is probable that he is going to be kicked out of his present bedsit in the near future. I know he is unhappy and lonely (although he lives in house with other handicapped chaps) and I think he just cannot understand or explain what makes him so angry.
He loves all his relatives but, surprise, surprise, they do not love (or even like) him. He tries to communicate with strangers and sometimes he is successful. He has a sense of humour expressed in puns and can be very loving at times. He is really interested in dolphins and Star Wars and has been to Florida to swim with the dolphins. He had a carer whom he liked very much, but she was one of the first people to die of Covid 19, and then his father died last April from Parkinsons. I know he was distraught and tried to help as much as possible. I asked for help from the Psychiatrist/Psychologists but none was forthcoming. I was divorced from his father, who once we divorced and he remarried, took little interest in Jonathan. My present husband has been wonderful with Jonathan for the past 31 years, but even he is running out of juice. He is 89.
I have considered autistic dogs (he loves dogs), but I am not confident that he would care for one properly; hypnotherapy (private of course - not available on NHS); and trying to find someone who could share his interests - but how and where?
Anybody have any advice PLEASE?
