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advice on parenting neurodiverse young adults

NAS84158

Hi, I need advice and support.

My kids ( age 18 and 22) are indisputably neurodiverse, (and have physical disabilities) but are very resistant to being diagnosed.

They are wonderful, high achieving individuals, but are finding the pressures of young adult life very difficult to navigate. They are both self harming, and acting out in very performative ways.

I have tried to support them to get support from the GP and local mental health services but as I say they are very resistant.

I am finding it extremely difficult to cope with the continued unpredictable outbursts

My questions are:-

1) does anyone have any tips for how to support undiagnosed young adults to get support

2) does anyone have any advice for me on how to cope?

Parents

  • Unfortunately because everything is so medicalised a lot of the more substantial services are gatekept by having a diagnosis or not. Ultimately you can't force them to get diagnosed or accept the support that is available but if you make sure they know they are loved unconditionally regardless of what a diagnosis could say and that there is nothing wrong with them- because that's what it is, people who are made to feel like there is something wrong with them are less likely to get it "validated" by a diagnosis because they are worried they will be seen as worth less as a people for it. Then let them do their wn research into the pros and cons of diagnosis and/or support and maybe they will come around to it themselves if that's what they want to do.

Reply

  • Unfortunately because everything is so medicalised a lot of the more substantial services are gatekept by having a diagnosis or not. Ultimately you can't force them to get diagnosed or accept the support that is available but if you make sure they know they are loved unconditionally regardless of what a diagnosis could say and that there is nothing wrong with them- because that's what it is, people who are made to feel like there is something wrong with them are less likely to get it "validated" by a diagnosis because they are worried they will be seen as worth less as a people for it. Then let them do their wn research into the pros and cons of diagnosis and/or support and maybe they will come around to it themselves if that's what they want to do.

Children
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