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advice on parenting neurodiverse young adults

NAS84158

Hi, I need advice and support.

My kids ( age 18 and 22) are indisputably neurodiverse, (and have physical disabilities) but are very resistant to being diagnosed.

They are wonderful, high achieving individuals, but are finding the pressures of young adult life very difficult to navigate. They are both self harming, and acting out in very performative ways.

I have tried to support them to get support from the GP and local mental health services but as I say they are very resistant.

I am finding it extremely difficult to cope with the continued unpredictable outbursts

My questions are:-

1) does anyone have any tips for how to support undiagnosed young adults to get support

2) does anyone have any advice for me on how to cope?

Parents

  • As an autistic person, with an autistic child of 18, I think I can say that there isn’t much help available. There are groups and communities to be found which might prove helpful, but a lot of the process is about learning about oneself.

    The outbursts are meltdowns, which are caused by getting overwhelmed, frustrated, stressed or overtired. Your children need to find ways to cope better, so that they ‘might ‘ be able to predict a meltdown, or at least lessen their occurrence. Stimming can help. But honestly, you need to encourage your children to pace themselves.

    You say they are high achieving. This comes at great cost to them. Life is difficult and exhausting ‘inside’ and you might not see that. They probably don’t see it. It’s all about trying to give yourself plenty of downtime.

    I don’t know if that’s helpful or not, but just keeping asking questions and someone will have something helpful to contribute.

Reply

  • As an autistic person, with an autistic child of 18, I think I can say that there isn’t much help available. There are groups and communities to be found which might prove helpful, but a lot of the process is about learning about oneself.

    The outbursts are meltdowns, which are caused by getting overwhelmed, frustrated, stressed or overtired. Your children need to find ways to cope better, so that they ‘might ‘ be able to predict a meltdown, or at least lessen their occurrence. Stimming can help. But honestly, you need to encourage your children to pace themselves.

    You say they are high achieving. This comes at great cost to them. Life is difficult and exhausting ‘inside’ and you might not see that. They probably don’t see it. It’s all about trying to give yourself plenty of downtime.

    I don’t know if that’s helpful or not, but just keeping asking questions and someone will have something helpful to contribute.

Children
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