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Money

NAS84129
  1. Hi there I just need a question Im 28 years old man i got astuism my partner who ant got astuism said I need to stand on my own 2 feet but my mum deal with my fiancee and is my power of attorney is my partner wrong please I need answers I been getting upset 

  • Partnerships are complicated! I'm sorry you're going through this.

    It sounds like you and your partner could use a little breathing space from each other to have time to reflect and think. What does your partner want? Is it different than when you first met them? But also, what do you want?

    Is it possible for your mum to help mentor and guide rather than "deal with" your fiancee? A partner can sometimes feel threatened by the others relationship with their parents, especially if the parent has more control and connexion than the partner is allowed. The parent will have an opportunity to help allow the 2 of you to build a bond - but it depends on many things, the most important being trust. This can be a difficult situation. 

  • It's a gradual process, never changes overnight. 

    First, you have to determine what interests of yours would make an ideal career option. When I was at School, I was pushed towards IT. However, it brought me to Uni. Gradually, I lost enthusiasm. College, and apprenticeships, would have been better for me.

    Are you on PIP, or Universal Credit? They're not sustainable, in the long run, but they're a platform.

    My suggestions. Take it, or leave it. 

  • Sorry to hear you’re upset. It’s a tricky one to answer without more context. If there’s a long standing arrangement where it’s known you need support with managing finances and your mum assists you with that then I’m not sure why it’s come to a head as a problem. I imagine it’s complicated. But I know how upsetting it can be to have stability suddenly challenged without warning. So I hope you’ll be ok. And I hope you can have a calm conversation with your partner about it where it can be talked through nice and gently, with a clear exchange of points of view and a meeting in the middle.