• Replies 3 replies
  • Subscribers 69 subscribers
  • Views 1249 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

6th form avoidance caused by anxiety

NAS83392

I’m new to this forum

Advice needed to help my 16 year old to return to 6th. 

back story

- missed over 2 years of mainstream school from year 9  due to pandemic 

- ASD diagnosis in year 10 

- medicated since year 11 due to anxiety and self harm 

- sat 4 GCSE’s and got 4 passes

now attending a different school 6th form.   started off well but has had a number of absences due to colds, vomiting etc. doesn’t have a good immune system  now on around 40-50% attendance as struggling with anxiety. Can’t pinpoint the actual cause, except it’s related to school. 

we’ve a meeting with SENCO this coming week to see what school can do to help  they’ve already suggested going in later on days when study periods lesson 1&2. 

the psychological therapist we’ve seen since year 9 isn’t able to suggest ways to help and today said “ The struggle is this needs to be xxx who makes a change, they understands the implications of their behaviour, how irrational their thoughts are, but they are unwilling to change. It’s very tough thinking of how to help them  when they are like this.” 

looking for suggestions and strategies please Pray thank you  

now 

  • Your daughter's school should have reasonable adjustments in place in order to support her needs. I hope the meeting helps 

  • Causes: possibly loneliness 

    The hardest part of the sixth form for me was feeling like I didn't belong and not knowing how to fit in.  Everyone else had strong, close friendships. I had a group of people that I sat with, but didn't feel like any of them actually cared about me. I didn't think I had much in common with them and didn't know how to join inbyheir conversations.  They all saw each other outside of school, but I didn't.

    It could be that your child is experiencing a similar kind of loneliness which is affecting them.  Especially if they've just started at a new school.  Many students will already have friendship groups and it's so hard to break into that, even without a social interaction disability.

    It's very hard for autistic people to understand their emotions and where they are coming from, and even if they do understand it's even harder to put that into words.  Just because they can't articulate what's going on, does not mean that it's irrational.  

    The therapist saying that they just unwilling to change needs to be educated.  That's like telling a person in a wheelchair "You've got legs, it's irrational that you dont use them, why don't you just get up and walk?"  And yes, some people in wheelchairs can walk short distances, but they have the chair for a reason, because there are things that they can't do and its the same for autistic people.  Our thoughts are there whether we want them or not. My loneliness is like a real monster that follows us around everywhere and is impossible to completely vanquish.

    Also another thought- could it be that the medication is causing side affects to their health?  If they are still experiencing such anxiety, is it helping?  If it is numbing their emotional state, then it's going to make it even harder for them to understand what their emotions are trying to tell them and get to the root of the problem.

    Suggestion: guided/supported opportunities for interactions 

    I would say make sure they have time in between schoolwork to indulge their special interests.  Relaxation and joy are good antidotes.  Perhaps there are other "weirdos" (aka undiagnosed autistics) in the sixth form that they could connect with, but they might need some support to make those connections.  Perhaps something like a D+D club where there is a specific purpose to the interaction.  It would be good to suggest this to the Sendco and see if they could set anything up.  I run a lunchtime "Calm club" at the primary where I work for the undiagnosed neurodivergent children and those with emotional/mental health needs and for a lot of them, just not being out in the playground and all the stress of that environment helps them manage the rest of the day a lot better.  It also helps me a lot, not being out on the playground with the noise and the social demands and the flashbacks to feeling so alone.

  • Maybe their thoughts are not irrational? It could be entirely rational to want to avoid a place which causes stress and makes one sick. Is study online from home not an option?