It's like he's faking it

Bit of context first....my 11 year old son was recently diagnosed as autistic. The report was thorough and I have no doubts about the diagnosis, it certainly helps explain a great deal about his behaviour as a younger child.

Interestingly, we decided to pursue the diagnosis after he read a book called "Can you see me?" written by Libby Scott, about a girl his age who is autistic. He encouraged us to read the book together, which we did and it was interesting to see how many characteristics and personality traits my son shared with the main character.

So that brings us to today....in the 9 months since my son read the book he has become impossible to deal with. His Mum and I are at the end of our rope, we having nothing left. Every single morning, he refuses to go to school; we barely leave the house or if we do it's one parent with his older brother while the other stays home with him. We're like ghosts, it's honestly like he has sucked all the joy out of the house. He has a meltdown over the smallest things; he's violent too, hitting and punching. 

What drives me crazy is that he wasn't like this a year ago! His teacher recently had to speak to him because he was misbehaving in class and he claims now that he "doesn't understand" what the rules are despite understanding perfectly for the last 5 years of school. Every day he refuses to school and screams and shouts that he doesn't understand why he even has school, and that it's all pointless, but he used to enjoy school!

Worst of all, he used to be such a happy, joyful, bubbly kid but we never see that anymore. He's always so unhappy. 

I know he's not faking it, why would he? I just keep having that same thought though, maybe it's born out of missing how things used to be. I don't know. I'm not even looking for answers, I've just had enough and needed to vent somewhere.

Parents
  • In a nutshell, he is overwhelmed. Not only has be go this diagnosis to come to terms with, he’s now not masking. Probably because he is unable to due to being overwhelmed. And of course, a year ago is a long time, and he’s older now. With the start of high school everything is too much. I think you need to sit down with him, and start with school. What works, what doesn’t, what he can manage and how much etc… He’ll need a lot of downtime, so if there’s something he is fixed on, let him do that as much as possible. He might also need to let off energy by stimming. He may or may not be doing this already, but it might be a good outlet for his pent up energy. Consider a sport too that he may enjoy…. It’s a tough time for him right now. You may well be seeing the worst right now, but things will calm down somewhat with time, and changes to his school day etc.

Reply
  • In a nutshell, he is overwhelmed. Not only has be go this diagnosis to come to terms with, he’s now not masking. Probably because he is unable to due to being overwhelmed. And of course, a year ago is a long time, and he’s older now. With the start of high school everything is too much. I think you need to sit down with him, and start with school. What works, what doesn’t, what he can manage and how much etc… He’ll need a lot of downtime, so if there’s something he is fixed on, let him do that as much as possible. He might also need to let off energy by stimming. He may or may not be doing this already, but it might be a good outlet for his pent up energy. Consider a sport too that he may enjoy…. It’s a tough time for him right now. You may well be seeing the worst right now, but things will calm down somewhat with time, and changes to his school day etc.

Children
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