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5 year old aggression

NAS68212

Hello,

I have a diagnosed nearly 4 year old and an undiagnosed 5 year old. I’m struggling to cope with the 5 year old, he’s hitting his sister constantly and he’s much bigger than her, she’s tiny for her age. I’m scared he’s going to do serious damage one time because he hits with whatever he has in his hands or with his hands. Her behaviour is so manageable and he’s impossible to cope with. How do I get him to stop hurting her? Nothing works as a consequence that I’ve tried so far. 

thanks,

aria

Parents

  • Separate them. She needs to learn to exit an abusive situation. 

    He might find something about her overwhelmingly jarring. He may need more space and introverted time than others. He needs to learn better ways to deal with intense frustration so he doesn't end up in handcuffs. Here again, don't force a response or reason. He needs to learn the memory muscle gut-response: exit and de-stress. This is a mature way of handling a difficult situation when we are a flurry of emotions. 

    This isn't something to yell or reason away unfortunately as they're too young. They need reinforced Space. No questions, just removing one individual from the other. 

    For the Autistic, Interruptions can be worse than literally anything - small or large. They can be like waking a sleep walker. Have a look at monotropism.org 

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  • Separate them. She needs to learn to exit an abusive situation. 

    He might find something about her overwhelmingly jarring. He may need more space and introverted time than others. He needs to learn better ways to deal with intense frustration so he doesn't end up in handcuffs. Here again, don't force a response or reason. He needs to learn the memory muscle gut-response: exit and de-stress. This is a mature way of handling a difficult situation when we are a flurry of emotions. 

    This isn't something to yell or reason away unfortunately as they're too young. They need reinforced Space. No questions, just removing one individual from the other. 

    For the Autistic, Interruptions can be worse than literally anything - small or large. They can be like waking a sleep walker. Have a look at monotropism.org 

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