Masking in school

This is very typical for someone on the autism spectrum. If your child feels comfortable in their home environment, they will feel able to unmask, causing their autistic traits to become more visible. At school they are likely to feel pressured to behave in a neurotypical way as a result of societal pressures, so this might explain why their autistic traits are less identifiable in school. Have you found that your child is particularly tired, emotional or distressed upon returning home from school? This could indicate masking. 

Hi, I have an 11 year old Daughter who has just been diagnosed with autism and adhd. I have just watched your Daughter's videos and they are so good. Its like listening to my own Daughter! Her sense of humour is great.. I am hoping my D will watch them :-)

So I’ve noticed my now 8 year old son wasn’t the same as my older children. I have 5. 
move been trying to get schools involved since year r. Was told he was just naughty. We’ll roll on year 4. They’ve finally sent a cahms report and he’s been accepted. I thought it was just adhd. But reading into it. It’s likely Aspergers too. He is good at making friends. He just can’t keep them as he’s too ott. Doesn’t get invited to any parties or have any friends that come out to play with him. 
I would advise you to self refer to cahms. It’s a good 2 year wait and I’m sure something will pop up at school. But def talk to them especially his teachers. 

Hi my eldest (age 9) had this exact issue and we were worried we wouldn’t be listened to as school didn’t support the assessment due to him successfully masking at school and being a high achiever academically. We were listened to and the clinicians were very aware that masking is common and knew what to look out for in their interview with him. We got a referral through the gp as we have concerns about how the constant masking impacts on our son’s mental health. We didn’t keep a diary but it would have been helpful to have really specific incidents to refer to ~ luckily we had many we could remember to refer to! 

community.autism.org.uk/.../my-autistic-kid-is-pulling-his-pants-up-and-down-and-penis

Yes. My 11 years old daughter had the same issue at school. She is home-educated now and loving it. She talks about how she experienced masking in her you tube channel 

youtube.com/.../UC8W7N-g8kEAGcRNryT7Ho3g

As has been mentioned you need to amass information, evidence, and keeping a diary is a good way of doing it. You should note anxiety, reluctance to go to school, difficulties making minor decisions, literalism, shutdowns, meltdowns and any obviously autistic physical behaviours. If you can get covert smartphone recordings of stimming, toe walking and suchlike activities this would also be useful in making a case.

My son's primary school said they could not see the signs although when I went in for open mornings to a lesson I could see him zoning out. He did mask at school and I guess with other children a quiet masking child is less obvious.

Parties also caused anxiety for my son.

I kept mentioning it to school and any problems and eventually got a referral from GP but school not observing the autism made a long wait before diagnosis.

What I did do was keep a diary of anything relevant particularly things that happened out of school but were connected to difficulties in school. You could ask for a meeting with the SENCO to discuss problems related to masking in school.

Through perseverance he was finally diagnosed after he moved to Secondary school. So my advice is persevere if you believe your child is autistic.

i don't have an issues or have any advice hope more people see this and respond to you

Not really, I'm afraid. It's a tough road when they are showing things in school. You can speak to your Sendco and ask for an appointment with an educational psychologist who will be able to give another opinion, but if the child is masking and apparently coping it will be difficult because services are already overstretched.