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School want child referred

Sparkle555

Hi my sons 4 and an only child. The nursery teacher and sen co said he’s struggling with a few things. Settling at an activity unsure what to do, sharing, transitioning from one activity to another, covering ears a lot even when there’s not much noise, upset easily, stands out compared to the others, bit of an American accent. They said he’d no imaginative play at all even though at home he does that alot. They said they’d encourage him as now they know he can do it. They also said if he was to be diagnosed it would be ‘high functioning’ and he wouldn’t need to attend a special school. Both of them agree he’s showing signs of autism or asd and want him referred. I’m shocked as didn’t have any major concerns at home. He can deal with change, eats ok and sleeps well, very affectionate and sociable would talk to anyone. He has had little phases in the past and does have his quirks but nothing majorly noticeable. Has anyone had similar and been diagnosed? It seems to be it’s all coming out since nursery. To them not us at home. Thanks 

  • Go with it. If they've got it wrong, it won't hurt. If they've got it right, it's important. You might want to ask if you can spend a morning hanging about the back of the room to judge for yourself. Kids often show traits at home but not in school and vice versa.

    The American accent could be echolalia- check it out on you tube and make your own judgement. I certainly sounded more like the Beeb than my Geordie parents or warwickshire peers. My play would have looked normal to most observers - lots of dolls houses, except I was endlessly rearranging furniture on my own not having the dolls interact with other girls  at all. The list goes on as to the subtle nature these things can sometimes have. Certainly at reception age, I was little miss goodie two shoes at school, no one picked up that behind the good behaviour I was actually sitting alone at the side of the room totally clueless as to why other children were playing or what they were 'playing' at, or sitting on the classroom door step at playtime with no clue why we were sent out into the cold.

    As for the 'high functioning' label, that's been applied to me. Some of us cope quite well, or at least appear to in many situations, but there will be others in which we don't cope at all. I'm not too high functioning in medical situations when I have sky high abject terror and am under sensory assault such that normally mild mannered little me becomes this effing and blinding wall thumping melt down storm. I'm none too 'high functioning' then.

    To protect your child you need the truth as soon as possible. That truth may be Autism, may be another neurological difference, just an SPD or whatever. But he needs the right support to live his best life. Early support = bright future.

  • I was fine at home, always very engaged, talkative and affectionate with my parents, then when I started school, at four and a half, I became selectively mute. I didn't speak at all at school for three months, though I remained talkative at home. For an autistic child, everything can be fine until our abilities to cope with social situations are exceeded, then problems arise, or become noticeable. I was diagnosed with ASC (ASD) at 59.