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just upset

thisisme

Hi, I'm new to the forum.  I am a mum to a daughter who was diagnsed with an asd approximately 6 years ago.  My daughter currently attends a mainstream secondary school and has a full time t.a.  I feel like, since day one, I have been unhappy about my daughter attending this particular school.  There were issues in my daughter's first year with bullying and when I brought this to the school's attention they basically said that it was my daughter getting the wrong end of the stick with regards to the actions of the other children involved.  I daughter was basically unhappy, and I was unhappy that she was unhappy.  My daughter is now nearing the end of her second year, and although the bullying seems to have died down abit, I am still hearing stories of her being filmed on other children's phones, that she said the other kids were going to be put on facebook.  I don't know if this is true as I don't have a facebok account - and don't wish to either.  Although my daughter has made little progress in maths, her English is a problem due to the fact that she has problems holding her pen properly.  I did buy her a special pen, but it seems to have had little effect.  Infact she is just not accessing the curriculum that well, as she can't.  The school has made some adjustment to address this issue, but I feel in all hindsight it just is not working.  I have suggested to my husband that we should start having a look at a local special school, which I did when all of the issues first started to arise  I was impressed to honest.  My husband on the other hand doesn't want her to go, as its a special school.  I just want her to be happy and enjoy learning, which I know she isn't.  Last week there was an incident regarding the school regarding a bruise my daughter had developed on her leg, which resulted in the school reporting the incident to sservices.  The teacher at the school said that my daughter could not tell them how she had got it.  When I asked my daughter about the bruise, she gave me two different reasons; the first being because she had been fighting with her sister (which they often do) and the second because she just didn't know.  I'm upset that the school felt the need to report it, but I fully appreciate the role the sservices has in protecting children.  No action was taken, but i'm still upset about the whole thing, deeply.  I'm just worried about the next time she gets a bruise and can't explain how she got it.  She's very active and likes to play outside alot, usually as a super hero, and I can never find my teatowels anywhere as she's usually got one attached to her top and running around the garden and jumping and just being herself and enjoying herself.  I would just apprecaited some advice from anyone who could maybe offer a little support on changing from a mainstream to a special school.  I fear that I would have right battle on my hands if I decided to do just that.  Any support regarding the bruise issue would also be greatly appreciated.

  • We are really struggling to find a suitable school place for our 10 year old/year 6 autistic son. We are just finalising his statement but really don't know what school to request in part 4. Currently, we live in South Central Manchester and our son has been a total school refuser for 3 months - long story. 


    Anyway, we're willing to consider a move but are desperate for advice. Our son is dyslexic too but high functioning and has friends. Please help!

  • Many thanks crystal for your support.  I have now started to use my anger constructively and research potential schools in our area that specialize in moderate learning conditions.  The nearest school(s) to us are around 40 mins away.  There is no provision in our immediate area, but hopefully we would get help with transport or I would take my daughter.  I have informed the school that we will bringing forward the review to september.  I hope to visit the schools as soon as I can.  Any tips or advice you can give with regards to the review, would be appreciated.  Thanks again for your help.

  • My 12 yo is just about to go back to school after almost 3 years being home-educated. She has AS although we are awaiting the diagnosis, and knowing how naive she is, how emotionally young she is, I am dreading all the things your daughter has suffered, such as bullying because she already had issues with that in previous primary schools.

  • Hi - I do feel for the both of you.  How long do you persevere with something you know isn't right?  My son's an adult now.  There's 1 massive lesson I've learnt over the years. Get your child (of whatever age) into an environment that is suitable for them with staff who understand them as an individual + also understand how autism affects them personally.  So I think you need to look at autism-specific schools or a mainstream school which can provide the support she needs.  Sounds like your daughter is having a tough time of it.  Sounds like you're having a tough time too.  The anxiety all this is causing must be really high, especially the longer it goes on.  You may never find out about the bruise but the fact you're suspicious suggests you don't rule anything out.  I'm sure you know you can complain to the school, the Director of Children + Families at your local council, social services etc.  You can check out info on the home page here about the best way fwd regarding her education.  I'm sorry to hear your husband prefers her to stay in an environment which doesn't appear to be suitable.  Sometimes getting a professional to explain to a partner why another setting may be preferable can carry more weight than it coming from a spouse.  Yes, you cd well have a battle on your hands to get her moved to somewhere more appropriate but what's the alternative.  Good luck with everything.