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4 Year Old With Severe Speech Delay

NAS82564

Hi there,

Just looking for someone who may be in a similar position or who might have some experience..

My little boy has just turned 4,  he has been behind with his speech from about 20 months but much more noticeably this passed year.  He can understand pretty much everything that is said to him and will attempt to speak when in the form to, but pronounciation of late has been particularly hard to understand - even for me.. who could always translate for him

He recently attended a disciplinary appointment with a peadeatrician, OT & SALT and they said they felt he could have ASD.  Initially I was taken aback and disagreed, even now I’m unsure..  I can see some traits but not enough to be sure that’s what it is.

He sleeps well,  eats well, doesn’t have meltdowns.  He is potty trained,  doesn’t mind defaulting from a routine,  doesn’t need things to be in order or lined up,  isn’t sensitive to sounds, lights, textures..

But he babbles a lot - especially at night time in his room,  sometimes squeals, usually if he’s excitable.  He can have a lack of concentration and focus if he’s not interested in what he’s doing or what you are saying to him and is having trouble at pre school interacting with other children - I know that this is something he would love to be able to do but I feel he’s shy and nervous,  especially because he can’t talk to them.  

Im at a total loss on how I move forward,  I’m driving myself mad googling things at night, trying to find a disorder that describes him, so I can put the tools in place that he so badly needs.  The NHS is no help thus far so I’m trying to find the money to go private,  I’m so scared these early years will pass him by and I’ll never hear my little boy speak as he should.. I’ve even heard of a disorder where they lose their speech all together

  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey

    Also - that appearance of lack of focus is one of the similarities to ADHD thinking. It can be an extraordinary internal focus which he may need help resolving. The need for resolution is a driving factor. I have a theory we can be overrun by it much like non-autistics can be overrun with the love of power. Problem solving can be our greatest asset but it is something we need help with. 

    That lack of focus can also just be a state of being overwhelmed. Technically, ask any of us and we might find absolutely anything interesting and become invested in it. We can exhaust our mental state by the intensity of impact from a lack of filtering. As I've gotten older, I've found a reishi complex which helps with focus. One study showed these gamma waves can be out of control for us, more intensive thinking, more incoming unfiltered signals and then we become exhausted, our heads start feeling fuzzy and we need to check out. All children need transition time. Autistics need a great deal more transition time. 

  • What's unique about Autistic thinking vs Non-autistic involves what you've described. Some studies have referred to a more balanced brain use rather than hyper-focused connexions in lobes responsible for language and semiotics. Depending on the other factors they may have better alpha waves (creativity and focus) and have a sense of everything-all-at-once with gamma waves making full brain connexions. These particularities then can allow for the Autistic Difference. We might not be able to access words and might be highly expressive/intelligent. We won't be able to read others or use symbolic nuance, so have trouble communicating. But these nuances are not so small. Lacan, who studied under Freud theorised that Non-Autistic individuals mature through language - by receiving these symbolic codes which they are 'wired' to understand. That teaches them to suppress and filter out unwanted information. Meanwhile, the Autistic appears to intake information unfiltered to some degree unless they are hyper-focused in a flow-state which heightened Gamma waves allow for. 

    It sounds to me as though your son is in a very healthy and supportive environment. He is afforded agency and allowed a sense of self. One isn't distressed by sensory elements unless they are surrounded by on-going non-human friendly sensory assault. One also isn't distressed when they're not being interrupted or treated unkindly. It's important to note that much of what is out there about Autism confuses it with Trauma. If there is order around us, we won't be breaking down trying to make sense of the chaos. And Chaos isn't just external messiness but laws of nature which are out-of-order like small unpleasant nonsensical cruelties. 

    I suspect he may have excellent ways of communicating and expressing himself. The drummer from the band Echosmith was similar to this at age 4. Loving and supportive parents and siblings. Autistic children might not hit non-autistic milestones. But they hit Autistic ones. Focus on creativity, logic and wisdom, and practical surface qualities will sort themselves out as he's ready. 

  • Hi there,

    You may find it useful to have a look at our autism page on our website which has a vast amount of information. The page contains information on the basics of what the autism spectrum is, how it's defined in a clinical sense, and the characteristics of autism: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/what-is-autism

    Best wishes to you and your son,

    Kevin Mod