Moving school

I would agree with what Ann writes here. I often considered whether or not my son would benefit from moving school but whenever we discussed it he decided he didn’t want to make a move at that point. I also discussed the option of some kind of specialist school with more autistic pupils but he declined that too. Ultimately I always felt that my job was to present my children with lots of information and choices but to also make it clear that I would never go ‘over their head’ with big decisions about their lives. I wanted them to feel safe and trust me in the Knowledge that they would always be listened to and that their wishes and needs would be respected. When I was a child my parents never really listened to me or respected me and I found that very damaging - so I have been determined to do things differently with my own children. 

You might discuss the possibility of a move, then between you make a list ... two columns For and Against. Just write down ideas as they come, however crazy they sound.  Then go through the list with him, and ask the "what if ... " questions.  As a parent, you will have to have the final decision, but it may help if he is behind the decision, whether to stay put or change school.

Hi - I am not sure I am qualified to comment (as I have no children) but I am autistic myself and I did have a hard time at school. I know 8 is young but have you asked your son how he would feel about changing school? I think it might help to also have his opinion because if he wants to move that is a big help if he actually does move. Do you know why he hates school? It's so tough when you hate school and like you say if he has felt like this for 5 years, that's a long time and it is unlikely to get any better? It's a hard decision to make as like you say you cannot know if he would be feeling better at the new school: That's the case with any decision to change something though- you never know how it will turn out until you try. The one thing you do know is that right now it isn't good- so there is a need for some change-  Alternatively, is there anything that could be done at his current school to improve the situation? 

I do think asking your son's opinion would be a good idea. I actually was very unhappy at my primary school, especially in the 5th Grade- I never liked school much but for 5th Grade I had a new teacher who wasn't very good and I really struggled- I was so bored, hated school, socially things were hard anyways and I just never wanted to go. My Mum had been considering the international school in my area for some years (though I didn't know this). When I was struggling so much in 5th Grade (so age 11), my Mum actually ended up asking me how I would feel about changing school- it was a huge change because the new school was an English speaking school and I could not speak English- but I really wanted to change school and go- so I did- of course it was still a huge change and things weren't perfect but I was much better off at the new school. And it really helped that I had been involved in the decision making process- when my mum asked me, I knew straight away, I wanted to leave. 

I have no idea if any of this is helpful. I can only speak from my experience and I realise this is a very difficult decision- I really hope you manage to change something to improve the situation- it's sad but school and learning should be fun but so often it is traumatic and a horrible experience. Hopefully you will figure out a way that works for your son to improve things!