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Safe restraint

NAS82031

My 18 year old son has very violent meltdowns. There are no obvious triggers and no de-escalation technique works.

We had to call the police last night as we could not physically stop him. I was later taken to hospital for treatment for bites.

The only thing the police offered was to handcuff him. Not wanting that, is there any safe restraint training, techniques or equipment I can use to prevent further injury?

  • I'm sorry this sounds difficult. If you haven't already looked into all these, I'm just going to leave some possible triggers. 

    First I would work out all sensory possibilities: Biology. I would get a test to find out if there are Volatile Organic Compounds in the house including formaldehyde. I would make sure all cleaning products are unscented or have natural essential oils that you're 100% certain he's not allergic to. Then I would get him tested for allergies and gut issues. If you can, have him start taking a probiotic daily and look into a FODMAP diet as a precaution.

    Download a decibel reader and a frequency meter. Also speak with Lightaware.org and maybe have one natural lamp for him for night. Do video games help with calming down? Does he get enough exercise? Would he be interested in and capable to learn something like Judo to work on balance and formal disciplines? 

    Does he experience difficulty with weather? I have a friend with ADHD who has epileptic fits with a change in air pressure. I have difficulty breathing when the air pressure changes too fast. 

    Are his clothes 100% natural (as much as possible - it's difficult with socks/underwear). 

    Next I would look at it possibly being psychological. Overwhelming Anxiety from unresolved issues could be key. We need help learning wisdom and reasoning through our intellect. We may deal with feeling purposeless and useless because society continually adds pressures we cannot seem to overcome. Does he have hobbies? Things he can build or create? The creative process away from from digital media can help. 

    The hardest thing for me to not get violent about was interruption. And this comes in so many forms. Buying something only for it not to work properly is an interruption to process. Instructions designed for NeuroTypical individuals are a severe interruption when I'm just trying to work out How something functions not Why it's great I bought it! Dropping something and having an added mess when I just wanted to make a sandwich and go back to what I was doing. Interruptions stop a flow. And our thriving self lives in a flow-state. If you haven't looked at Monotropism, it is a key factor in how we function. But this design, which can analyse and make connexions can accelerate into anxiety fast. The best restraint may be a legal THC/CDB mix or a micro-dose of Xanax, which will help shut this down in an emergency (NOT anti-depressants, which are not the same and can possibly make matters worse) This ability, possibly driven by heightened gamma waves, is a biological function that was meant for something. It can be a natural talent, like any other which needs nurturing and if it's not properly cared for, it can become our worst enemy. 

  • There is no such thing as safe restraint only restraint that's less dangerous than leaving someone un restrained. There is an old Japanese rope based martial art called hojujitsu. You start with a rope with a self tightening loop tied in the end and after snagging it on a limb wrap the rope around someone till they can't move. Suppose you sewed a load of soft towels together end to end with the last bit of towel sewed into a loop. If you can get that loop around his torso you can wrap him in the loose end of the towel 'chain' like a massive human towel burrito, till he can't move much. Would need at least 2 people for any chance of success.

    Generally if in doubt it's better to call in the professionals. Not so much the police but psych nurses. Difficult to persuade them to make house calls though.