Hello,
Apologies in advance if this ends up being long, I am hoping by putting in all the info I can think of, it will help.
My daughter, 3, has global development delay and has recently had her ADOS. Autism was first raised as a possibility when she was 16 months old. She’s a very chilled out child, she has her things she dislikes but they’re manageable because mainly it’s giving her space when required. The challenges are because she is delayed we struggle to communicate.
My son, 5, is where my main concerns sit at the moment. He has recently been referred to CAMHS but they have a long wait list and I just need to talk to people who understand in the meantime. ADHD and autism have both been mentioned by the doctor and consultant that we saw earlier this week, I just wanted to outline the key things I’m facing and see if anyone can relate.
He has a strong need for routine, they are free to snack throughout the day but have a 10 o’clock and 3 o’clock snack or something from the treat box. If I miss this, or a meal time by a few minutes (such as running late to get home, I haven’t noticed the time) he will be furious with me and will hit out and scream.
He is incredibly angry. I’m currently covered in bruises and scratches from him, and he lashes out at his sister, his grandma, and my husband (his father). A couple of examples, his sister asked him to play dolls with her and he didn’t want to so he punched her in the stomach. She takes a lot of pain from him but I can’t seem to explain to him why he shouldn’t be hurting her. If I can’t answer a question he has, or if I don’t know how to do something on a game he’s playing, he will throw things at me. I have always tried to hide how I feel but there have been times where the sadness of being hurt has taken over and he’s seen me cry. This doesn’t phase him, but for the next few days will keep asking me why I was crying/where I got certain bruises from (he knows).
He has very bad anxiety. We have to be sure to tell him every step of the plan if we’re going out because if we go and do something he wasn’t expecting (for example getting petrol and going off route) he will become distressed and won’t settle for the remainder of the journey. He has 2-4 nightmares a night and they’re the worst screams I have ever known. He’s scared to go to bed and bedtime takes 2+ hours which normally ends in him getting frustrated.
He cannot sit still. He can’t focus on something for more than a few minutes. He can’t sit still to eat, even when he’s dropping off to sleep he’s moving or twitching.
He is very keen on the bins and the washing machine and will spend hours talking about them, watching videos on them, sitting with the washing machine whilst it’s on and evaluating our neighbours bin routines!
He’s not very sociable. He has a lot of friends and gets invited to a lot of class parties but he goes (very nervously) and tends to play by himself. After school and in the morning his friends will be shouting hello/goodbye and fussing him. He won’t look or acknowledge them. The most they can get is him lifting his arm up as he walks away.
When people smile at him or people on the telly are angry, he asks why their faces are doing that. He’s terrified of hand dryers and can’t use public toilets.
The problem we have is this isn’t the child school report to have. They’ve said he’s very active and struggles to stick to a task (he’s only just finished reception), but his behaviour is great and they’re pleased with his progress. I get the anger after school and by the time he’s reached the school gates he’s had his first meltdown. But we’ve been told it can’t be anything because it’s not consistent in school. He has also had “fights” at school where he’s asked classmates to give him space and when they haven’t done so he hits them
Please help me if you can.
