Sensory issues maybe? Maybe not

You are very welcome.

Hello NAS72221,

The way you describe the control element makes agreat deal of sense to me.  I'm not sure the assessor saw it this way though as they didn't really say much about it  I hope they understand and continue ue to assess.  Thank you.

Hello
The majority of the things you describe in your post are a result of your autistic child’s unique sensory profile. We autistic people have a very different sensory experience to non autistic people. This means our sensory needs can fluctuate all the time.

For example, we autistic people can be highly sensitive to certain stimuli (like the buzzing sound you describe) and be avoidant or overwhelmed by other sensory experiences. This is because we autistics have a different nervous system. In the situations you describe below, your child may love busy/noisy play areas because she is sensory seeking. They may scream and shout themselves also because they are in control of that noise which could potentially drown out any other distressing or distracting stimulation.

Furthermore, I hate shows and pantos too because the sensory experience is incredibly chaotic. Your child may feel the same way about these experiences because they can be incredibly unpredictable, they may be able to identify where the next source of stimulation will come from. This means they are not in control of their environment.

It’s great that your child is refusing to attend these experiences because it means they are setting boundaries to avoid overload. Setting boundaries like this is really important and means your child understands their own autistic experience. 

Autistic people process much more information than non autistic people- which is why we find environments such as pantos chaotic.

Have you heard of monotropism? This theory will you understand your autistic child’s neurology.

https://monotropism.org/

Catlady31 said:

Can a child be distracted/upset by a buzzing sound that no one else can really hear whilst sitting still and quiet yet love noisey, busy play areas and shout and scream themselves. They will also refuse to go to pantos and shows because they dislike the crowded seating, noise from everyone's shouting next to them and the noisey show itself. They also dislike the noisey, crowded school cafeteria and smell of the food, seeing and hearing others eat

School cafeteria are commonly one of the worst places for autistic people. It’s chaos in the school cafeteria - sensory overload. Is it possible for your child to eat elsewhere, maybe in a quiet room with a few close friends?

Catlady31 said:

At home, they seem to crave movement and will sit on the floor waching TV swaying sideways, rolling off the sofa and deliberately hitting the floor.  They will also deliberately run and drop to the ground sometimes at home and when out at the park with friends.  They can also be too loud when talking to friends or mum and dad yet hate talking and answering questions from people they don't know well and will go mute in some situations.

You child probably needs more proprioceptive input to understand where their body is in space. That is probably why they are trying to meet that need by deliberately rolling off the sofa and hitting the floor.

Have you heard of Situational Mutism? It’s an anxiety disorder which means someone physically cannot speak in certain situations or with certain people.

https://youtu.be/DJ44rHvSdMg

Finally, this video might help you understand your autistic child’s sensory experience:

https://youtu.be/51fqpWj61V8

I hope my response is helpful.

Thank you.  May I as whether you still have social anxiety?  I'm so worried my daughter will not be able to do all she needs to when older such as going to appointments and making phone calls etc.  It is already affecting her schooling and appointments we have to go to and even stops her from asking for things and talking to people.

We did buy ear plugs but she doesn't like them in and at the moment she will not wear earphones/noise defenders.

As a child, I didn’t talk to adults outside of the home. Even at home I spoke when spoken to. I dislike other people music. But love my own, and want it loud. I hate other people speaking loudly, but do it myself without realising, I hear noises others don’t. There’s no rhyme or reason to what me may or may not like/dislike. It is just ‘is’ lol.

As for your child, they have an aversion to noise, ear defenders will help greatly, At home, it seems like they are getting the sensory stimulation they crave, and are stimming to self regulate. All healthy behaviours, just ensure they can’t hurt them selves where possible.

Thank you so much for your very helpful reply, you have really explained things well to me.  

And most of us dislike crowd seating. Autistics can be like sponges (vulnerable, too open, everything is intimate and intense), picking up all these emotions and smells add that humans are wild cards - unpredictable. On top of which, anytime before the age of 30 we might not have the wisdom and maturity to understand non-autistic psychology and language and why we have difficulty with it.  It is far more reasonable to dislike a crowd, if one thinks enough about it. There are philosophies which talk about the madness of crowds and what kind of violence they're capable of. 

There's human-friendly sound such as natural acoustics out doors or in a well treated space and then there's non human-friendly sounds such as electrical wires buzzing, reverberations from cafeterias and other terrible structures which no thought or intention around acoustics went into. Now, your child might have the capacity to explain the physics of this to you once they're 18. But not yet. For now, trust that they are tapped into the natural order of the world quite well. 

I would buy ear defenders and just bring them with you. You may be able to create a back pack for your child to carry about with things to help them 'shield' themselves from the world - sunglasses, ear defenders, etc. 

The second problem is related to the first. That of not having defence mechanisms, and intaking everything intensely, with a vulnerability they cannot properly defend yet. So unknown (or sometimes known) humans can feel very intimate and there is something in us psychologically which is overwhelmed by the other-ness of others. Autistic children need to be afforded time to trust another to know how to navigate and respond. 

Allow your child to be Shy. Introverted. Earning trust is valuable and we all feel rewarded when another feels we are worthy of theirs.

Not only is the external world much... too much, but our internal world is chaotic and something we've yet to learn how to control. Sport which helped me become focused and able to control my physiology - anything which requires balance. Gymnastics, Judo, Karate, Yoga. Anything with helps with Self-Focus. Identifying various muscles and activating them properly. Much of our growing up is learning to grow into our selves and learning to assert boundaries for the world around. This chaos happens in the mind, too. When the mind is racing, the best fix is something focused for it to latch on to and learn, imagine or solve.