Toiletting issues

Hello, my son is nearly 4 and having assessments for ASD. He was fully toilet trained by 22 months, and had no signs of ASD at this point. His ASD symptoms began at around 2.5 years, and have been gradually getting more and more profound. About a year ago, we started having problems with toiletting. He just will not (or cannot?) tell anyone when he needs to go anymore. He will just hold on and hold on for hours and hours until he eventually has an accident. I don't usually let it get to this point at home, as I can tell when he needs a wee, so I take him to the loo, but at school he just constantly wets himself, and refuses to go when told. He has also become TERRIFED of going for a poo. He will hold on for days, and eventually ends up in such pain and discomfort, that I take him to sit on the loo. He then cries and screams until he manages to go. At school he has had some soiling accidents and he refuses to go with anyone except myself. He is not constipated by the way, simply holding on to it! This is becoming a major issue as it is taking over our life, and school are constantly moaning at me about it, as they just don't know how to deal with it. Has anyone else had similar issues with their children, and any advice would be really helpful.

Parents
  • Hi there, my son is 15 now and I never forget his toilet training. He was diagnosed at 3 but we new from age of about 2 that he had problems. He was a happy choppy up till then. 

    Your son may be scared or not like the thought that 'he is loosing a part of himself'. This can spill over into when they that've a cut and see a bit of blood as in their minds they a loosing a bit of them and can't understand the concept that we make Moore blood etc.

    What worked with our son was positive reinforcement. Making the toilet a positive place. We followed a very structured program and it only took 2 days until george was toilet trained. The weekend is a good time to tackle this. Wee totally focused on this and lined up postive rewards. This can rafavourite some new toys, a favourite toy, favourite sweet.

    we would sit george on the loo we very half hour. He loved the leap pad reading toy. How he sat there for about 5 mins each time. Eventually he needed to pee and wanted his nappy. He was about 4 at this time. We sat him on the loo and he still held on but we still rewarded him. Then wen he sat on my lap downstairs he wet himself ( and me) but he was praised and sat back on the loo. The main thing at this point was that he had ' le go' of his wee and we had to make this positive for him by rewarding, reassuring and praising him. At the end of the day he did a wee in the loo! It was brilliant. The next day, we took him to the loo every hobut and still had the rewards ready. He asked for his nappy in the morning but I told him it was lotrampoline took him into the loo with a reward waiting ( which he only had once sat of the loo).

    we took george to the loo every hour but as the day went on he point upwards for the loo wen he needed it. The great thing is too that on the same day he did his first poo in the loo too. Brilliant!

    hope I've explained this ok. Is easier on phone but meassage me if you'd like to ask more.

    if you decided to do something like this its important the school follow through to and to also make it positive and rewarding for him at school. He will pick up on any negativity from them so it's vital to get them on side and to make this positive for him outside the home.

    hope it all works out for you

Reply
  • Hi there, my son is 15 now and I never forget his toilet training. He was diagnosed at 3 but we new from age of about 2 that he had problems. He was a happy choppy up till then. 

    Your son may be scared or not like the thought that 'he is loosing a part of himself'. This can spill over into when they that've a cut and see a bit of blood as in their minds they a loosing a bit of them and can't understand the concept that we make Moore blood etc.

    What worked with our son was positive reinforcement. Making the toilet a positive place. We followed a very structured program and it only took 2 days until george was toilet trained. The weekend is a good time to tackle this. Wee totally focused on this and lined up postive rewards. This can rafavourite some new toys, a favourite toy, favourite sweet.

    we would sit george on the loo we very half hour. He loved the leap pad reading toy. How he sat there for about 5 mins each time. Eventually he needed to pee and wanted his nappy. He was about 4 at this time. We sat him on the loo and he still held on but we still rewarded him. Then wen he sat on my lap downstairs he wet himself ( and me) but he was praised and sat back on the loo. The main thing at this point was that he had ' le go' of his wee and we had to make this positive for him by rewarding, reassuring and praising him. At the end of the day he did a wee in the loo! It was brilliant. The next day, we took him to the loo every hobut and still had the rewards ready. He asked for his nappy in the morning but I told him it was lotrampoline took him into the loo with a reward waiting ( which he only had once sat of the loo).

    we took george to the loo every hour but as the day went on he point upwards for the loo wen he needed it. The great thing is too that on the same day he did his first poo in the loo too. Brilliant!

    hope I've explained this ok. Is easier on phone but meassage me if you'd like to ask more.

    if you decided to do something like this its important the school follow through to and to also make it positive and rewarding for him at school. He will pick up on any negativity from them so it's vital to get them on side and to make this positive for him outside the home.

    hope it all works out for you

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