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Where do I start to help my kids?

Aspie Angel

I'm the mum of a six year old boy diagnosed with asperger syndrome, and a three year old boy who is in the process of diagnosis. My older boy was diagnosed three years ago, so I feel like I should be quite knowledgable with all the support networks, but I have large gripes about my kids at the moment, and find myself not having a clue where to get help!

My six year old is very bright, and has (with much family support) learnt to cope with daily life, and manages at a mainstream school quite well. I find, that because of this, many support doors are slammed shut in his face, and he gets no help whatsoever.

When we raise serious concerns with the school, they just say that they are impressed with how he copes. At his school they have a lunch hour of 1 1/2 hours which my son finds quite challenging. We have asked for support, but don't get it. We even resorted to offering to pay a lunch time supervisors wage but the school said they weren't allowed to do that!

Who can help my child?

More to the point, who will help my child?

I feel totally helpless and feel the only option left to me is to bring him home at lunch time. I don't want to do this, as it would leave me totally tied during the day. Also, my son has the will to form friendships, he just needs a bit help. If i take him out of school at lunch time, those social opportunities will be lost and he'll never learn!

How can I find out what my children should be getting?

My three year old was assessed last week and it was reported that he didn't interact at all with any of the children. Because he is also bright, chances are he'll get no help either. I asked the Outreach team how he could be helped to learn social skills, and they went on and on about the imput they give to secondary school children! He hasn't started primary school yet! How can I sit back and let my child be a bystander through his entire primary schooling, before any social input!

I feel so helpless as their main problems are social, and the main opportunities to learn social skills, are when they are out of my care.

Parents

  • Thanks for your support Jenniferwave.

    I'll tell you an incident which happened today, which is fairly typical of the treatment we receive from the school:

    My six year old was being picked up by another parent for the first time ever tonight. He had been invited to go bowling with a friend, and was very excited, and showed no signs of stress about it. However, he woke up thismorning extremely anxious because of the bowling. He can't cope with failure (when he doesn't knock the pins down) and gets extremely hard on himself. He was crying and saying he didn't want to go. I pointed out all the positives, and managed to get him to change his mind. I told him that I would speak to the parent at the railings, find out exactly where they were going/what they would be doing and write a little routine chart which I would send into the school as soon as I'd done it. He was happy with that.

    I wrote a note warning his teacher, telling her about the routine chart, and asking her if she would let him read it throughout the day.

    I drove straight home, got out the laptop, and did a fab routine chart complete with McDonald symbols and bowling clip art, and had it to the school by 9.45.

    I spoke to his teacher at the gate tonight as I was picking my 3yr old up. I asked her how he had been, she said he'd been ok. She said my routine chart was fab, unfortunately she'd been too busy to give it to him, and he hadn't even seen it!

    Why do I have to put up with this? I'd provided the chart all she had to do was give him it!

     

Reply

  • Thanks for your support Jenniferwave.

    I'll tell you an incident which happened today, which is fairly typical of the treatment we receive from the school:

    My six year old was being picked up by another parent for the first time ever tonight. He had been invited to go bowling with a friend, and was very excited, and showed no signs of stress about it. However, he woke up thismorning extremely anxious because of the bowling. He can't cope with failure (when he doesn't knock the pins down) and gets extremely hard on himself. He was crying and saying he didn't want to go. I pointed out all the positives, and managed to get him to change his mind. I told him that I would speak to the parent at the railings, find out exactly where they were going/what they would be doing and write a little routine chart which I would send into the school as soon as I'd done it. He was happy with that.

    I wrote a note warning his teacher, telling her about the routine chart, and asking her if she would let him read it throughout the day.

    I drove straight home, got out the laptop, and did a fab routine chart complete with McDonald symbols and bowling clip art, and had it to the school by 9.45.

    I spoke to his teacher at the gate tonight as I was picking my 3yr old up. I asked her how he had been, she said he'd been ok. She said my routine chart was fab, unfortunately she'd been too busy to give it to him, and he hadn't even seen it!

    Why do I have to put up with this? I'd provided the chart all she had to do was give him it!

     

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