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Jealousy of partner..

NAS79742

Im new to all this so forgive me if my questions seem a little silly. But my 11 year old has real meltdowns when my partner comes anywhere near me..if he gives me a hug, she goes crazy. 

Is this a typical autistic trait? Or is she just being naughty and silly.

Parents

  • No, it is not a trait common in autistic children. Meltdowns are a feature of many autistics, but the particular trigger in your child's case is not. She may have attachment issues towards your partner.

  • in reply to Martin

    Thankyou...is jealousy an issue though? And sharing etc. Like shes sharing me. Im hers as she says. Is this an autistic trait

  • in reply to NAS79742

    While many autistics do not like their possessions being touched without permission, in general, they tend to be generous, or no less generous than the average allistic (non-autistic person). I'm not a psychologist, but I would say that the trigger is caused by jealousy and the breaching of a feeling that they have a monopoly on physical displays of affection, any child could feel this way, but the reaction, in the form of meltdowns, is autistic in origin. If your child felt the way she does, but was not prone to meltdowns, there would be much less of an overt problem. 

    In a way you have two approaches available, deal with the trigger, or deal with the meltdowns.

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  • in reply to NAS79742

    While many autistics do not like their possessions being touched without permission, in general, they tend to be generous, or no less generous than the average allistic (non-autistic person). I'm not a psychologist, but I would say that the trigger is caused by jealousy and the breaching of a feeling that they have a monopoly on physical displays of affection, any child could feel this way, but the reaction, in the form of meltdowns, is autistic in origin. If your child felt the way she does, but was not prone to meltdowns, there would be much less of an overt problem. 

    In a way you have two approaches available, deal with the trigger, or deal with the meltdowns.

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