Please any advice would be appreciated

hi everyone 

I'm loosing my mind!

my daughter is 4 years old im a single parent with support of my mum but I think grandparents see no wrong doing in the grandchildren since the age of 8 months my daughter started headbutting the walls for no reason tests was done on hearing to rule out any reasons for the headbutting she seemed to grow out of that by the time she was 2 n a half but things have just seem to have got worse since then I cant even seem to speak to her without her biting my head off tantrums are beyond control she throws things at me smacks kicks pinches. I've got a family support worker but their way of dealing with behaviour's are not working they said about autism as it is in the family and could be many years b4 she could even be diagnosed so hoping to hear if anyone else is going through anything like this and would have any advice

thank you 

  • A few thoughts.

    When you speak to her, are you interrupting what she is doing? Autistics need some warning before moving on to another activity.

    Do you give her a choice sometimes? A request/ demand can feel like we are losing control.

    Routine is very important, like regular mealtimes, so she knows what to expect. Change of routine causes anxiety which may cause a reaction that may not be intentional. If this is the case it may help to talk about whether something was difficult to do and help her with things she finds hard.

    Also brief but clear instructions are helpful.

  • sounds rough. there are a few support groups for parents of autistic kids out there if you google. i used to the headbutt the wall when i was at junior school. kids took the piss and encouraged me to do it. wasnt diagnosed until age 45. get her diagnosed asap. in the meantime as long as shes eating and not harming herself try not to do whatever it is that triggers her. sorry if that sounds obvious.  she might be traumatised by peoples reactions so dont go too hard on her. she dosent mean it. her emotional reactions are like reflexes. i doubt shes developed enough to start analysing her thought processes.