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My little boy only seems to get angry with me

NAS81239

We haven’t long been told that my 5 year old boy has autism. We were told we would be put in touch with a specialist nurse which has yet to happen, 9 months on. He us had help for his speech delay and his social communication skills which where the main concern through nursery but now he is about to start school I feel like we have been sort of abandoned. There is no help in place and atm I have no idea who to contact should we need help. Which to be honest I feel I might. Since summer holidays began. 4 weeks or so, my boys behaviour is beginning more of a struggle. He won’t listen to a single thing I say, and will basically do whatever he gets the urge to. I can ask until I’m blue in the face for him to do something or maybe stop doing something and he won’t. He will be eventually get annoyed if I tell him he isn’t listening and then if he isn’t happy or doesn’t get his way he’ll start to shout, like scream at the top of his voice. He’ll scream until he makes himself sick. He won’t lash out but he will get right up close to me and keep screaming. Trying to calm him down doesn’t seem to work because he won’t stop until he gets his own way. He’s nowhere near as bad with his dad but I seem to get the brunt of it every time. The mind boggling thing is I would be quite sure he hated me if he didn’t always want me with him for bedtime or days out together. I’m rambling but I’d like to know it isnt just me in this position. Or am I doing it all really wrong ?? 

Parents

  • try tell him the reason why he has to stop the thing hes doing maybe?
    and try tell him the consequences of his continued behaviour.

    i did that with my sisters kid and it worked. my sister just shouts and orders, trying to get the kid to eat her dinner which she wouldnt as she wanted the sweets instead. my sister didnt explain and just ordered and shouted... i explained simply, you cant have the sweets until you finish your dinner first, then she noticed that and asked why and i repeated she has to finish her dinner first to get her sweets, cant have the sweets until the dinner is cleared, then she understood and just sat down and tried to finish her dinner, then tried to do other things like offer it to my mum a clear sign she couldnt finish her dinner or didnt want it for some reason, perhaps not got the appetite for it or not fully liking it? but you can work these things through simply by instruction and reasoning, rather than orders demands or shouts. suppose easier to know what your kids goal is/what they want, then you can work it out as how they get that thing they want they first have to do this other thing. 

    you have to be trying to help them i guess, they want to get to one spot, they think they can just get there, and dont realise first they must do this other thing, so you help them by pointing out the obstacle in the way of them getting what they want, so then they can identify that and clear it to get what they want. 

    if there is resistance a person will add equal opposite force to that resistance. so you cant push against what he does for he will push back harder equally in the opposite direction. youd have to somehow go in his direction and make what you want of him feel to him to be what he wants. maybe talk and find out what he wants then incorporate it into what you want of him.

Reply

  • try tell him the reason why he has to stop the thing hes doing maybe?
    and try tell him the consequences of his continued behaviour.

    i did that with my sisters kid and it worked. my sister just shouts and orders, trying to get the kid to eat her dinner which she wouldnt as she wanted the sweets instead. my sister didnt explain and just ordered and shouted... i explained simply, you cant have the sweets until you finish your dinner first, then she noticed that and asked why and i repeated she has to finish her dinner first to get her sweets, cant have the sweets until the dinner is cleared, then she understood and just sat down and tried to finish her dinner, then tried to do other things like offer it to my mum a clear sign she couldnt finish her dinner or didnt want it for some reason, perhaps not got the appetite for it or not fully liking it? but you can work these things through simply by instruction and reasoning, rather than orders demands or shouts. suppose easier to know what your kids goal is/what they want, then you can work it out as how they get that thing they want they first have to do this other thing. 

    you have to be trying to help them i guess, they want to get to one spot, they think they can just get there, and dont realise first they must do this other thing, so you help them by pointing out the obstacle in the way of them getting what they want, so then they can identify that and clear it to get what they want. 

    if there is resistance a person will add equal opposite force to that resistance. so you cant push against what he does for he will push back harder equally in the opposite direction. youd have to somehow go in his direction and make what you want of him feel to him to be what he wants. maybe talk and find out what he wants then incorporate it into what you want of him.

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