My 5 year old gets so angry

Reading: He could be dyslexic. It can seem fine for a moment and then words might start jumping around the page or blurring together. Remember, the human race only started reading a few hundred years ago. Autistics don't adapt in the same way NTypicals do, so start with this assumption. Use something to help underline the sentence like a book mark.

The books could be messy. chaotic. Not geometrically and thought-fully put together. Offensive colours and no precision to the lines. Spend time in a book store and allow him to just pull out and lay out a collexion of books. Don't rush, but allow him to find what he likes. Take all the time in the world for this, as getting something like this sorted will make the rest of your life easy. The same can be said for taking him to an art gallery (preferably with ear defenders as the reverberations in those can be painful). Allow him to be in charge of the time you spend there. You don't have to look at everything, just a day out for him to find a few things he likes. Don't force 'favourites', that's a frustrating thing for us & a matter of hierarchy, which we don't naturally understand.

But, back to reading and yelling - a more important issue is language. It's not always explained to parents, but to start, he's 5 and doesn't have the wealth of expressions a 40 year old may use. Almost all autistic children have trouble with language. It can happen in a few ways. 1. A disconnect between language and the internal imaginative picture of it. 2. A word might sonically turn to gibberish upon hearing it, even if we say it. As if all meaning and connexion has disintegrated. 3. Our brains can be making far more connexions all at once. A word may have 5 meanings and the book may not be excessively pragmatic as to which it's conveying. 4. Typicals use language with a fluid organic-ness. A majority of humans are designed of tribal connexions and the use of language/semiotics is a binding element. Autistics might communicate with creative or scientific arts - constructing a thing or music - analogy can be our go-to when we can envision a thing but not have the language to express it. This still happens to me and I'm nearly 50. My son and I are always referring to a dictionary. When I'm working (I work in sound, so not using words), I find that part of my brain is entirely shut down and I just cannot seem to access sentences. I express love to my son by helping, doing things for him he can do perfectly well, buying him a new pair of socks. Small acts of daily kindness. He's in his 20's and does this now for me in return. 

Autistic wiring is not designed for language in the same way. We might think in vivid images or formulas. But it's actually a clever design of human for analysis, as the dark side of words are used to manipulate and bend the truth. Now, it's ok to not say something that might hurt another or to work on diplomacy, but we aren't swayed as easily by adverts or fear-inducing language. And this works well when researching or problem-solving or critical evaluation. 

Your son won't understand the words he's using, really. Allow his frustration and give him new language to use in rage. Give him space to get it out. Help him to learn to exit the situation (it'll be there when the impact of frustration has subsided). He sounds anxious and angry at him self perhaps - a downward spiral. Many medical papers now have proven Anxiety inhibits the use of executive functions, so it far more important he learn to check out and stay safe as we become incredibly accident prone when stressed. 

The bottom line is we (Autistics) are intensely impacted by sensory perception, emotions and psychology, by biological chemistry. We cannot filter out - it's brilliant for the design for our version/type of human (Autistic) and our capacity (innate talent). Your job will be to help him create shields from unnatural sources (clothing, lighting, frequencies, etc.) and help him learn to give words to the functions he's experiencing and healthy ways to communicate or de-stress. Don't force emotions as language, we cannot reduce a wealth of emotion down to just one. Find the function and help him learn to remove himself from bad/dysfunctional situations. 

Reading: He could be dyslexic. It can seem fine for a moment and then words might start jumping around the page or blurring together. Remember, the human race only started reading a few hundred years ago. Autistics don't adapt in the same way NTypicals do, so start with this assumption. Use something to help underline the sentence like a book mark.

The books could be messy. chaotic. Not geometrically and thought-fully put together. Offensive colours and no precision to the lines. Spend time in a book store and allow him to just pull out and lay out a collexion of books. Don't rush, but allow him to find what he likes. Take all the time in the world for this, as getting something like this sorted will make the rest of your life easy. The same can be said for taking him to an art gallery (preferably with ear defenders as the reverberations in those can be painful). Allow him to be in charge of the time you spend there. You don't have to look at everything, just a day out for him to find a few things he likes. Don't force 'favourites', that's a frustrating thing for us & a matter of hierarchy, which we don't naturally understand.

But, back to reading and yelling - a more important issue is language. It's not always explained to parents, but to start, he's 5 and doesn't have the wealth of expressions a 40 year old may use. Almost all autistic children have trouble with language. It can happen in a few ways. 1. A disconnect between language and the internal imaginative picture of it. 2. A word might sonically turn to gibberish upon hearing it, even if we say it. As if all meaning and connexion has disintegrated. 3. Our brains can be making far more connexions all at once. A word may have 5 meanings and the book may not be excessively pragmatic as to which it's conveying. 4. Typicals use language with a fluid organic-ness. A majority of humans are designed of tribal connexions and the use of language/semiotics is a binding element. Autistics might communicate with creative or scientific arts - constructing a thing or music - analogy can be our go-to when we can envision a thing but not have the language to express it. This still happens to me and I'm nearly 50. My son and I are always referring to a dictionary. When I'm working (I work in sound, so not using words), I find that part of my brain is entirely shut down and I just cannot seem to access sentences. I express love to my son by helping, doing things for him he can do perfectly well, buying him a new pair of socks. Small acts of daily kindness. He's in his 20's and does this now for me in return. 

Autistic wiring is not designed for language in the same way. We might think in vivid images or formulas. But it's actually a clever design of human for analysis, as the dark side of words are used to manipulate and bend the truth. Now, it's ok to not say something that might hurt another or to work on diplomacy, but we aren't swayed as easily by adverts or fear-inducing language. And this works well when researching or problem-solving or critical evaluation. 

Your son won't understand the words he's using, really. Allow his frustration and give him new language to use in rage. Give him space to get it out. Help him to learn to exit the situation (it'll be there when the impact of frustration has subsided). He sounds anxious and angry at him self perhaps - a downward spiral. Many medical papers now have proven Anxiety inhibits the use of executive functions, so it far more important he learn to check out and stay safe as we become incredibly accident prone when stressed. 

The bottom line is we (Autistics) are intensely impacted by sensory perception, emotions and psychology, by biological chemistry. We cannot filter out - it's brilliant for the design for our version/type of human (Autistic) and our capacity (innate talent). Your job will be to help him create shields from unnatural sources (clothing, lighting, frequencies, etc.) and help him learn to give words to the functions he's experiencing and healthy ways to communicate or de-stress. Don't force emotions as language, we cannot reduce a wealth of emotion down to just one. Find the function and help him learn to remove himself from bad/dysfunctional situations.