Fussy with clothes

Christine,

Do you allow your son any choice in the clothes you buy for him?

If not you may wish to try this.

I find I am much more accepting of something I have chosen for myself than of something someone else has chose for me.

Even if, ultimately, I would have chosen the exact same thing.

Hopefully when  I get him any new tops I could put his t-shirts on underneath until he gets used to them

christine said:

Thank you for the replies, I think I will try and put his normal tops underneath his new ones until he gets used to them.

In what way do you believe that will help, Christine?

Thank you for the replies, I think I will try and put his normal tops underneath his new ones until he gets used to them.

christine said:

Thank you all for your replies, think I will just let him be happy - dont want a fight on the day!!

Zem, could you tell me what it is that you dont like? is it the feel of shirts? the colour? I dont really understand, and it would help to know.

thanks

The thing that I really don't like is the stiff collar and cuffs, which (aside from the fact that they get in the way for washing my hands etc.) is largely why I avoid long-sleeved shirts.  I also hate them being tight around my neck.  I'm not keen on stiff-feeling fabrics either.  I've never owned a set of jeans because they just seem horrible.  Ironically my favourite kind of trousers to wear are smart-casual polyester-wool mix ones: the fabric is soft and supple and doesn't build up static and regulates temperature fairly well.

I'm not keen on suits (as in the jackets) because they feel constricting around my shoulders, even though I like them in terms of appearance.

One useful measure for me is the smart merino-wool jumper.  It's a very soft, non-itchy fabric that regulates temperature very well.  It's also fairly stretchy so with the right fit it doesn't feel constricting.  And it can cover a comfortable T-shirt and create an overall fairly smart appearance.

christine said:

Zem, could you tell me what it is that you dont like? is it the feel of shirts? the colour? I dont really understand, and it would help to know.

I can understand you asking this question, Christine, but any answer Zem or any of us can give you is as likely to be of no use as it is to be of use.

I hate wearing a shirt and tie, and/or a suit (even without a short and tie, and even if it's an expensive fitted suit).

I find them constrictive, restrictive, and uncomfortable.

However, that's me.

Other people on the spectrum dislike certain colours, or the feel of certain fabrics, or buttons, or long sleeves, or the fact that someone else wears something similar, or even sometimes they just dislike something for some unkown, and possibly unknowable, reason.

i have the same issue myself,, it is about comfort of knowing the feeling of the cloth totally surrounding your body, a bit like when people buy new shoes, you wear them in, they become more comfortable, although don't look as good.

I would suggest leaving the clothes you wish him to wear, lying about the place and introduce them,, if you can change one item at a time, only when he is happy to do so. gentle, gentle,, softly, softly, slowly, slowly..

I tend to buy the same clothes in lots of different colours that way it seems I am only changing the colour,, if you did the same,, you could say to him, which colour today, so in a way he is not changing his clothes or comfort surrounding zone,, only a colour. 

The problem for me, is the change in the static of the cloth, I know it is different, my body is tensing on the touch of the new cloth.. so it is touch sensory. Maybe cotton is best,, i wear long-johns in the winter so I have comfortable barrier over the clothes.

This is long-shot comment, but nappies or ones baby grows, maybe shielded us in the past, so maybe an idea to investigate ?

Thank you all for your replies, think I will just let him be happy - dont want a fight on the day!!

Zem, could you tell me what it is that you dont like? is it the feel of shirts? the colour? I dont really understand, and it would help to know.

thanks

Ah, when did I last wear a tie or a proper shirt?  It must be over a year ago now.  By a "proper shirt" I mean a vaguely formal one with buttons all the way up the front and a collar, not long sleeves and cuffs though as they drive me nuts.

I've always been very fussy with clothes and think that it is part of being on the spectrum.  I wouldn't try to fully overcome it but it is helpful to be able to wear a suit and tie when needed etc.  I tend to wear a short-sleeved shirt under a jacket when I have to wear a suit, which I find more comfortable but still looks fairly smart.

Hi - yes I think it's quite common.  My son will only where a shirt/tie when it's to his advantage, such as gaining him entry to a place where he can get a good meal.   Unfortunately your son isn't open to bribery.

 I think you should let him where his shirt + trousers.   Life could be very difficult otherwise.  It's more important that you all enjoy the day.

Yes, it's fairly common amongst those on the spectrum.

You, almost certainly, won't be able to "help him overcome it".

Don't try to fight it, learn to live with it instead.