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School and police involvement

ParentingAutism

A really good day turned out to be a really bad day. My daughter, now 16, had a social story saying some bad news and can't do stuff she was looking forward to next week because it's too hot. She is more upset to that fact that the staff she was meant to have next week, one is leaving so can't have her in September, which is when the activity is rescheduled. 

My daughter got very upset and jumped the fence and absconded again, this time the worst its ever been. I constantly got called by the school with updates. Basically school finishes at 12:45 and she got home at 2pm. She was out of sight from staff and was just walking round the town and when she spotted staff she just ran away. Staff had to hold her for around 45/60 minutes, because she tried walking into a road, then she was on top of a train bridge trying to climb over and threatening to jump. I believe the majority of staff, around 20, ran to them to support because she wasn't safe. In the end, they called the police and she apparently started kicking and lashing out and throwing verbal threats and abuse to the police. The police put her in handcuffs and used as little force as they could and let staff handle it. 

Shes now hurt physically and in all aspects. She's had police involvement in the past and every time she has assaulted them. They walked her back to school with staff and she was still in handcuffs hurting her. At school she refused to let the police take the handcuffs off and told them to go away and then starting kicking them and throwing stuff. Staff managed to calm her down and they helped take the handcuffs off. 

I'm sure she has PTSD with everything she's been through. She's calmed down a lot now and is happier but is in a lot of pain and is burnt and hurt. It sucks and I do feel for her and everyone else. 

  • in reply to Billy87

    It does help a bit. She doesn't care about the rules and just wants to hurt them, she said so herself. She honestly has no respect towards police, never has, I remember when she was younger, when police drove past she would call them names. 

    I do think that she doesn't understand the law altogether. There was an incident involving a knife in public, everyone would know not to bring one into public, but she did, and she wasn't afraid to wave it at the police. It is scary because I don't understand why she is just so violent and aggressive towards police, any emergency service, in fact. 

  • in reply to ParentingAutism

    I cant speak for everyone but I think fear or mistrust of authority may be an autistic trait. I myself have always been scared of police, bosses and any other authority figure.

    Im not sure why. Maybe its cos we dont really understand their rules or expectations so fear getting in trouble with them. Not sure if this helps

  • in reply to Singsong

    We have realised that she has been struggling a lot this past month with all the bad news and change school have given her and what's going to happen. And next week is the school holidays which she gets really anxious for and struggles the most and is where the police get involved a lot. Hopefully not this year. School know about her past regarding the police but have never seen it happen before so this was their first time and I do really feel for everyone involved. 

    My daughter was just do aggressive always is towards them and I don't know why. It's been from a young age, but we've bring her up to like police  or do our best to. She will always hurt them and give them abuse. Why?? 

  • Oh my... I'm so sorry for you both that you went through this. That's horrible. I've been involved with the police, not really my fault just where I got so worked up and lashed out without realising it. I feel bad about it but it's the way I am sadly. I know my mum was so upset and banged blamed herself, I have tried to tell her it wasn't but I know she still feels it was.

    I'm sorry this has happened to you both. Your daughter is really lucky to have such a loving and caring person in her life. Keep doing what you're doing and be there for her, that will be a huge help for her. I know it's hard but you can both get through this. 

    Sending you all positive thoughts and vibes.

  • in reply to Billy87

    Thank you, people don't realise the effect this has on anyone. Psychologically, this will scar her for ever and mentally. Physically, the pain lasts months. 

    Today we have a family day out kayaking with a stop at the pub, which she is adamant to do, but she is in so much pain and exhausted she can barely walk. 

  • I'm so sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you and your daughter. I can't honestly think of any advice apart from to say that you are obviously a wonderful caring parent, it shines through everything you write. 

    I know you know that nothing your daughter is doing is her fault but I also know that doesnt make it any easier. I cant imagine what she has been through but the fact that shes made it this far through 16 years gives hope for the future. She sounds like a lovely person and I know she must be hurting now both physically and mentally 

    I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers