• Replies 6 replies
  • Subscribers 69 subscribers
  • Views 1204 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

In need of support and a kind ear

NAS80998

Hey there,

I thought I would post something here in the hope of… well I actually don’t know if I’m honest.

my son is 3 and for a while now he has shown certain traits that made me think he might be autistic. From 1 1/2 he gain a massive interest in spinning objects. At the time I didn’t think anything of it but now nearly 2yrs on this stimming behaviour hasn’t budged. His speech is also not where it should be for a toddler his age, but I put this down to the pandemic and not being able to spend time with other children during this critical time in his development. There are a few other things I raised an eyebrow to but I kept pushing it all to the back of my mind. When I raised my concerns with family or friends, I was told I was being stupid and he’s fine.

I did approach doctors who were not helpful. His nursery said they can start an assessment but again, I suddenly buried my head in the sand. 

now again the nursery have brought it up as his screaming behaviour is I’m assuming becoming disruptive. I finally signed the papers for them to start the process of assessing him.

I am completely alien to all this. I became Dr. Google and started doing a lot of research. But I’m in 2 half’s as to whether he is/ isn’t now. If he is, I want to make sure I can give him all the support he needs to thrive and achieve and feel safe. But now I feel like I’m in some sort of limbo as this assessment apparently can take MONTHS! 

I don’t know what I’m looking for to be honest by writing this here. Help, support, advice? Someone to diagnose him for me lol so I don’t have to wait so long. 

anything would be appreciated- sorry for the long story :-) 

  • Perhaps you could ask the nursery what is happening to provoke him.

    Interruptions when one is in a flow-state or focused on something have the effect of being feeling like one is being hit from behind. We wouldn't do this to Executives or an Artist while working. Why do we expect it from children? Sensory torture is also illegal. Why is it OK to harm children with sensory elements: piercing noises that will give them tinnitus for the rest of their life or LEDs which are now proven to permanently damage an infants retina. This sounds extreme, but these are important to note. Sound, light, forms of waterboarding - continual subjection to stress, using manipulative tactics to force someone to comply. And these are what Autistics, once old enough and if they can articulate these details express society has subjected them to. 

    Here are some links.

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/everyday-neurodiversity/202108/are-we-giving-autistic-children-ptsd-school?fbclid=IwAR0e6pwWeDC7C0c3EJAE1qdd9PyMyCqkgwIvTDEIxPKGBOV7Qn9hrgN5kI8 

    https://autistic-village.com

    https://neuroclastic.com 

    https://autisticscienceperson.com/2021/11/28/why-social-skills-training-does-not-help-autistic-people/ 

    A Long but good summary of the History of inquisition into Autism and where we're at neuroclastic.com/.../

  • in reply to KellyF51

    Yes I’m in England. I’m going to get onto it today now. 
    I really do appreciate the help and advice. I feel like I can at least do a little more to help rather then just sit around and wait and do nothing. 

  • I liked to make objects vibrate at that age, and I was not inclined to start speaking except single words despite understanding until I was forced at school, to start using full sentences, at that time I was 7. It's perfectly normal.

    If you google things up there is simple method to distinguish between something that is helpful and something that's patologising or vested interest. 

    if they refer to a person autistic or autist it is former, if they say person with autism it is latter

  • in reply to NAS80998

    Are you in England? If so look on your local council website for health visitors. 
    The SEN teacher who assessed my son will send her report, as will nursery, to the Child development centre so all information  will be assessed by the paediatrician there. That’s ok x

  • in reply to KellyF51

    Thank you. This is so helpful. I asked about getting in contact with a health visitor when I contacted the doctors. They just pushed me to discuss with the nursery. 
    I tried to find contact details for health visitors in my area, I’m still trying to find that. I didn’t realise assessments could be run alongside each other like that? I will definitely look into it! 
    thank you again. 

  • Hello! I’m new to this too. Have you spoken to a health visitor? My 4 year old boy is just starting to be assessed. Over the past possibly 2/3 years we have commented on how he has similar behaviouro my 8 year old grandson who is high functioning autistic. It has been gradually becoming more apparent that things he was doing weren’t just being a toddler or a ‘boy’. After taking him bowling for hiis 4th birthday and him covering his ears and screaming the noise was hurting, I asked the Health Visitor to come and see him. We completed the ASQ( I think that’s what it was called!?). He scored extremely high and she referred him to the local Child Development Centre,42weeks to wait for an appointment to see a paediatrician though. She also asked his nursery to complete forms. The local council SEN teacher observed him in nursery and agreed with all my concerns, as does his key worker. Social skills, hyper focus etc. 
    Although he will not see a paediatrician for a long time, at least with early intervention from other professionals, when he goes up to reception they are aware of his needs. 
    Sorry I’ve rambled on but I’ve had a hard day with him and looked on here for advice too!

    But my original point was to speak to your health visitor to begin any referral alongside any assessment by his nursery. 
    Good luck xx