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Advice for an embarrassing issue

NAS80991

Hi,

My son got diagnosed with Autism aged 4, and we have worked hard with the school and at home to help him cope with the ups and downs of things.

Most of the time he's fairly settled and school have been amazing with him.

He does however suffer from a soiling issue (number 2), this normally happens when things are a bit more free reign ie in after-school club or when he is engrossed in an activity.

We have had many conversations with him about the issue, I know he is embarrassed as he often denies it and tries to cover it up by changing his pants and cleaning himself up.

I honestly think he doesnt realise it is happening, as he rarely goes to the toilet for a number 2 of his own accord.  We have tried to prompt and encourage him to go at break and lunch time at school.

I think some of it is anxiety related too, as a change in routine or something happening out of the blue can also trigger it.

Just wondering if anyone else has experienced a similar thing and if they could offer any advice on things that could help.

Thanks in advance.

  • Our interoception often has a hard time to deliver a message to us, during busy or anxious periods, or when we're focused on something. So, we don't notice if we're hungry, thirsty, or that we need to go to the toilet, until it's to late.

    Coping with it requires compensatory strategies. Have a water bottle with you all the time, eat regular meals at the same time, 30min after eating go to the toilet. Etc.

  • No, can't say it was an issue for me as a kid, but I gather some autistic kids struggle to recognise the body signal to go. 

    I guess it's the old interoception thing, not recognising emotional states as they happen or hunger, thirst, temperature, wee or, in this case, poo triggers. I miss hunger triggers a lot.

    It does of course get worse under stress or when engrossed in something. 

    This won't go on forever. He will get the hang of it. I guess the trick is to teach him to recognise when he needs to go without making him feel bad for the times he didn't quite manage that. Maybe have a discussion about how the urge to go should feel and whether he can tell when he's experiencing that feeling.

    Bless him, he's trying to clean up himself...ahh  poor love.

  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey

    Thanks for your reply, we have a meeting in the diary and ill make sure i bring the points up.  Ill definitely look into Alexithymeia as it sounds like it fits in as he also struggle to realise he is hungry.

  • I had responded to another parent inquiring about this with these 2 elements to think about. Hopefully this helps!

    Our brain can be overwhelmed daily -it can be a pool of chaos in taking too much information and unable to dull the senses/focus. So we may not notice needing the toilet in continual sensory overload. What needs to happen is the adult should simply take responsibility and note our toilet habits, take us to the loo at appropriate intervals and help us “just go even though we don’t think we have to”. Set alarms if need be. It helps the child connect the Bodily Feeling (sensation) with the Function. 

    Which takes me to the Second issue: Many of us also have Alexithymeia. The inability to identify sensation and feelings. We may feel the cue but be confused about what it is until and authority figure or our parent, daily, continues to take us to a quiet toilet where we can sit and focus just on the feeing and get used to the signal. 

    Anxiety and Stress can trigger bowl movements. It could be better to make sure his routine is stable and grounded. "free reign' is Not Autistic Friendly. The difference is this: Non-Autistic children are easily bored. Their brain-type is more Typical and life is seemingly too orderly. Autistic children have too much chaos and connectivity happening in their brain. They thrive with dependability and structure. 

    Autistic Children will grow and learn completely different than Non-Autistic children. They may both reach the same point around 30 and appear similar in maturity and stability, with different things to offer the world (we need both!), but Autistic children Develop Different and need Reasonable Adjustments in schools, such as routine and order, not chaos and surprise. They need grounded, thought-full and responsible adults in charge, not 20 somethings fresh out of Uni. Hope this makes sense!