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Potentially autistic son

Billy87

So I should start this by saying I am autistic myself.

Lately I have become almost certain that my son is autistic. When I first saw signs of autism in him I was reluctant to jump to conclusions cos I didn't want everyone thinking I was just assuming he was because I was if that makes sense. Over the last few months though it has become a lot more clear. He stims a lot, I started off by lending him my stimming toys but he gets very destressed and sometimes needs them at the same time I do so I have bought him his own and they really seem to comfort him. He asks for them when he gets destressed. 

He gets terribly destressed and has meltdowns whenever there is a change to his routine or something he has expected to happen changes. He slaps the sides of his head with both hands over and over when this happens and I worry he will hurt himself. 

He struggles to interact with other children, either observes them play or joins in with his own ideas and seems oblivious to the fact that they don't want to play the way he is playing. Its quite painful for me as it is like watching myself as a kid again.

My question is, if he is autistic, what is the best way to go about getting a diagnosis? He is nearly 3. I feel if we ask for a diagnosis now he will just get rejected because he is very friendly , makes eye contact and can do some imaginitive play although a very limited amount. I know none of those things are really indicators or not of autism at all but they are the lazy steryotypes that I hear doctors still look for so I am worried if we go for a diagnosis he will get rejected on that basis. 

Any help or advice is much appreciated 

  • in reply to Ian

    He's starting nursery in September. I am hoping that it will be picked up on then and that might carry more weight if he is reffered by the nursery staff and they ask for an ECHP.

    My wife is going to talk to the health visitor next time she sees her. Thinking of going to the GP. 

    I feel like his autism is obvious to me but I dont know if it will be to the nursery if that makes sesne

  • Hiya,

    it certainly sounds like he is autistic. my cousin is 2 and we are trying to get him a diagnosis at the moment. We have been told to keep a record of everything he does that we consider 'abnormal' to help with the diagnosis, so maybe start with that. make an appointment with his GP and discuss it. remember autism is heritable so the GP might be more willing to refer for diagnosis

    I totally understand what you mean by people thinking you are jumping to conclusions, however i have found that being autistic means we pick up on other people's autism before neurotypical people do.

    Discuss with the GP your fears of him being rejected for diagnosis due to him being able to give eye contact etc. 

    Good luck 

    Alisha xx

  • One of the resources for self-diagnosis, given how expensive (emotionally, psychologically during the wait or financially for the immediate) it is, is Empathy. Autistics relate with and understand each other. Just as non-autistics relate with and understand each other. Thus, the Double Empathy Problem, the confusion from non-autistics when someone undiagnosed has said they never seem to Trust others, the need to 'get a read' on an Other.

    Someday we may understand what the neuro-signalling machine is just as we've come to recognise that our Olfactory is responsible for recognising a suitable mate. 

    I would find an autistic therapist. Explain the situation and ask for professional help moving forward. 

    Of course, as this company www.autismeducationtrust.org.uk holds at core, Parents know their children best.

  • Does he attend nursery? If so, talk to his class teacher or SENCO.  There are screening tests that can be carried to establish ASC as a probable dignosis.  Unfortunately, getting a clinical assessment may involve a long time on the waiting list unless you can afford to go private.  The school should be able to make reasonable adaptations even with a "possible" diagnosis.  Depending on his presentation, the nursery may ask for an EHCP assessment - but often educators prefer to wait until children start Reception because some kids have developmental delays and catch up by the time they start school, and others show more ASC symptoms as the demands of school, social and educational, increase.

    I suggest that you also talk to your Health Visitor or GP.