I haven't been able to find advice on this topic.
My mother is getting to an age where she needs more support, but is cruel when her routine is disrupted or something doesn go as predicted. I want to help, but my mental health suffers because of this. She won't even admit she has said lots of the things, I started recording convos just to assure myself I wasn't crazy.
How do you help a parent cope and adjust without becoming the target of rage or passive aggression?
I've gone to therapy, I finally have a support network of friends and a wonderful partner, so the childhood stuff is what it is. I'm always going to fear meltdowns, and I'm always going to over-prepare plans B, C, D, E and F. I'm always going to wait for any personal information I share to be weaponised. But I'm managing anxiety and I have good friends now, so the past is ok.
But, what do I do in the present? How do I help her but not be a target? How do you set boundaries with someone who doesn't compromise?
I try to wear the clothes she prefers and stick to topics she likes, but she hates that I'm overweight so there's no way to avoid upsetting her My sister encouraged me to just create an alternate character to play around my mom, and keep important personal information secret, so it can be weaponised. Is that really my option?
