11 plus tutors

Hi Matt

Your situation sounds similar to mine, however we haven't had an ASD diagnosis.  This year we've had lots of behaviour issues with my son, which I put down to hormones or stress of 11+.  However recently someone mentioned whether I had considered he might be high functioning autistic.  The more I've looked into this, the more I think it may be possible.  I would like to have an assessment however this doesn't seem straight forward even if we go private.  The school have never raised any concerns and even when I suspected my younger son had autistic traits they were not convinced as at school there are no issues, they are at a private school, so class sizes are small and they get a lot of structure and time outdoors.

It's affecting me a lot as I am the one who does a lot of the school work with him and therefore sometime get a barrage of abuse and anger directed towards me.  I think he can do well in the 11+ test however I'm worried about the negative effect it's having on him and if the high pressure of a Grammar school would also be something he finds difficult.  

I would love some support or advice if you or anyone else can offer some, I have been told not to take his behaviour personally however this is easier said than done.

He also finds it really difficult to express his emotions when he is struggling.  We are not pushy parents and say to him that we are proud of him whatever he does

Hi Matt

Your situation sounds similar to mine, however we haven't had an ASD diagnosis.  This year we've had lots of behaviour issues with my son, which I put down to hormones or stress of 11+.  However recently someone mentioned whether I had considered he might be high functioning autistic.  The more I've looked into this, the more I think it may be possible.  I would like to have an assessment however this doesn't seem straight forward even if we go private.  The school have never raised any concerns and even when I suspected my younger son had autistic traits they were not convinced as at school there are no issues, they are at a private school, so class sizes are small and they get a lot of structure and time outdoors.

It's affecting me a lot as I am the one who does a lot of the school work with him and therefore sometime get a barrage of abuse and anger directed towards me.  I think he can do well in the 11+ test however I'm worried about the negative effect it's having on him and if the high pressure of a Grammar school would also be something he finds difficult.  

I would love some support or advice if you or anyone else can offer some, I have been told not to take his behaviour personally however this is easier said than done.

He also finds it really difficult to express his emotions when he is struggling.  We are not pushy parents and say to him that we are proud of him whatever he does

I am now tutoring (including online tutoring) ASD pupils.  I have run ASD provisions in a similar role to a SENCO for over 20 years and home schooled my son.  Please feel free to contact me alanstocker7@hotmail.com.  I am a qualified teacher and have taught most subjects at school, including social skills, lifeskills and travel skills.  I live in Eastcote NW London    Alan Stocker M.Ed, PGCE, BA

I was fortunate in that I attended some very good state schools, which provided mental stimulation and structure. There are always signs ... I hated it when the teacher said " Write a story about a treasure island " or something "imaginative."  I could write about real things - dinosaurs, rockets, whatever, but how did other kids create things in their head that didn't exist?"   Does he struggle with transitions? Does he say "just let me finish ..." when the bell rings?

The other thing I hated was maths "problems" such as "Jack bought two pies at 30p each and a can of Coke. He gave the shopkeeper £1 and got 25p change. How much was the Coke?"  Too much language. What sort of pies? Was it a diet coke? Would a cherry Coke be more expensive?  Then my Dad taught me algebra.   2p = 30   2p+c+25 = 100    so  30+c+25 = 100 thus c= 100-(30+25) = 45. Easy!

I read that kids with ADHD have a narrower "window" when it comes to moving from what we know to something new. Google " zone of proximal development." I think this applies to ASC too.  I wonder if your son is either going over stuff he has already learnt (Borrrreing!) or if the steps between existing knowledge and new material are too great, leading to overload and meltdown. If you are using revision materials, consider only getting him to do half the questions before moving on, and maybe choose in what order he works through the material.

Have you tried mind-mapping? (Books by Tony Buzan on Amazon)   I also used to underline my textbooks in different coloured ink and write marginal notes. Obviously, this is not appropriate if the school owns the textbooks, but can you get him personal copies of key texts?  When I was at uni my DSA paid for me to get personal copies of the set books so I could annotate them.

Just a few random thoughts. If they work, you are welcome. If not, my advice is worth what you paid for it!