Advice and support please

It seems to be a common thing for youngster to get worse as they start high school. It’s a big change. It’s a new place, bigger, noisier, and much harder to blend in, and there’s much more expect on finding friends and groups to be part of. It is truly overwhelming. 
it sounds like your daughter needs to find some ways to make life easier at school. Speaking with the SEN department is a good place to start if you haven’t already. 
When she gets in, it’s best to leave her to her own devices. She will probably want quiet time to recover and relax. Maybe she can dive into an interest of hers to help. 
The violence is likely meltdown behaviour. This in itself is exhausting. Once she finds what helps, how much downtime she needs, and things like that, they may lessen. Anything can set them off, and she probably doesn’t know what her triggers are yet.

It seems to be a common thing for youngster to get worse as they start high school. It’s a big change. It’s a new place, bigger, noisier, and much harder to blend in, and there’s much more expect on finding friends and groups to be part of. It is truly overwhelming. 
it sounds like your daughter needs to find some ways to make life easier at school. Speaking with the SEN department is a good place to start if you haven’t already. 
When she gets in, it’s best to leave her to her own devices. She will probably want quiet time to recover and relax. Maybe she can dive into an interest of hers to help. 
The violence is likely meltdown behaviour. This in itself is exhausting. Once she finds what helps, how much downtime she needs, and things like that, they may lessen. Anything can set them off, and she probably doesn’t know what her triggers are yet.

The one time in my life I’ve ever faked being ill was during my first two to three weeks of secondary school. It just overwhelmed me, and I had extreme anxiety almost instantly. My parents knew, and had to confront me over it. The guilt was horrific, and i wouldn’t have lied if i hadn’t been so overwhelmed- but I couldnt explain even ti myself why it was so bad as to feel insurmountable. By the time i was back in school, Id lost valuable time to build  friendships etc. (not that if have been good at it) and was having to (mentally) run even harder to catch up that before. A miserable time of burnout that felt like depression, after having seldom had anything quite like it before. I remained a loner with just one or two friends picked up between then and sixth form.  I think that the recent Monotropism video from Aucademy made  a really good point about secondary school: the switching between  each fifty minute subject, and the rapid travelling around the school in noisy groups to get to the next intensive readjustment and compromised sensory intake is something monotropic minds cope with less well, and that longer sessions in less piecemeal form would be the ideal attempted  offset to that. Maybe in the future, it will change as more autistic people in each generation may make it an unignorable adjustment 

Thank you for your reply. Reassured me that I’m not alone.

I try to leave her to her own devices but it’s as soon as she sees me she goes into another meltdown. I know this is her way of expressing what she feels unable to do during the day and she is exhausted but it is wearing on me and my other daughter. I feel like I’m doing something wrong.

I do allow her to go straight on her pc for half hour when returning home and play her games as this seems to relax her but then the anxiety builds at bedtime for the next day.

no she is unaware of her triggers.