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Spouse can’t cope

NAS75657

My spouse is finding it very difficult to cope with our son. His biggest issue is with our sons toileting difficulties. When he keeps wetting and soiling my husband gets angry with him then his behaviours like helping himself to food from the fridge, being hyper, behaviours  that don’t usually bother my husband suddenley become a problem. As he doesn’t have a diagnosis yet our son can’t get help from an Autism specialist but we are under Family Support who we really hope can help us in the mean time. Any other advice? 

Parents

  • How old is your son? 

    The father must know that anger only makes it worse. Autism is a different way of perceiving and reasoning. 1. Our brain can be overwhelmed daily -it can be a pool of chaos in taking too much information and unable to dull the senses/focus. So we may not notice needing the toilet in continual sensory overload. What needs to happen is the adult should take responsibility and note our toilet habits, take us to the loo at appropriate intervals and help us “just go even though we don’t think we have to”. The parent needs to do this daily. Set alarms if need be. 

    second, many of us also have Alexithymeia. The inability to identify sensation and feelings. We may feel the cue but be confused about what it is until our parent, day in and out continues to take us to a quiet toilet where we can sit and focus just on the feeing and get used to the signal. This can take a long time. 

    Anger compounds the frustration and confusion. It’s an immature response to any child. 

Reply

  • How old is your son? 

    The father must know that anger only makes it worse. Autism is a different way of perceiving and reasoning. 1. Our brain can be overwhelmed daily -it can be a pool of chaos in taking too much information and unable to dull the senses/focus. So we may not notice needing the toilet in continual sensory overload. What needs to happen is the adult should take responsibility and note our toilet habits, take us to the loo at appropriate intervals and help us “just go even though we don’t think we have to”. The parent needs to do this daily. Set alarms if need be. 

    second, many of us also have Alexithymeia. The inability to identify sensation and feelings. We may feel the cue but be confused about what it is until our parent, day in and out continues to take us to a quiet toilet where we can sit and focus just on the feeing and get used to the signal. This can take a long time. 

    Anger compounds the frustration and confusion. It’s an immature response to any child. 

Children