Practical tips on managing damage to possessions and property

Hello everyone. We have 3 children who are all on the spectrum, have sensory issues and so on. This post is about some practical issues which I'm guessing many people on this forum have to deal with. It's not about why the behaviour happens etc, or how it should be "managed" that's obviously complex and is a topic for another day. We home educate the kids so they spend more time at home than most would (although they're out and about a lot as well !).

Our possessions and generally our house get damaged on a regular basis, mostly by one of them but they all do to an extent. For example, doors get repeatedly slammed and I currently have 6 internal doors which need some form of repair, from just a new latch (i.e. the door won't stay closed at the moment, which is a problem with a dog in the house as well) to one which needs to be completely replaced because the bottom of it is hanging off the top, it's been hit so often with chairs and similar. Yesterday a stone got thrown at a window and it shattered. Safely, which is great, but it still needs repairing. Other recent damage includes kitchen cupboard doors having things thrown at them and some of them are now splitting; the kitchen worktop got chipped when something got thrown at it; we go through several sets of kitchen chairs a year as they get smashed one way or another (we've now mostly resorted to big, heavy benches which are harder to throw, and that's helped...). That sort of thing. Also we don't have anywhere in the house which is safe from having possessions damaged, so everything we own is at risk. We care very little about possessions but everyone has a few things they treasure.

I am increasingly spending far more of my time than I would like, either fixing things, replacing them or arranging for someone to come and do that. We lost any sense of being house proud years ago, and where possible we just leave things, but this is about things we actually need (e.g. I need a door to the room I use as a home office, otherwise I can't do work). All of which takes up inordinate amounts of time, and of course money but I am less concerned about that because it's what we use a lot of the DLA money for. The biggest problem is when it's damage to the house/furniture etc.

How do others in similar situations deal with this please ? I'm wondering for example whether to invest in house insurance with a very low excess, and then getting things repaired/replaced on the insurance. I don't know whether they would count this sort of thing as "accidental damage" - the child sometimes does intentionally do the thing (e.g. throw the stone), but they don't usually want the [whatever] to break. Which is precisely how the one who broke the window yesterday, described it - yes throwing the stone wasn't an accident, but I didn't want the window to get broken. If I did that could I just get the insurer to sort these things out ? Does anyone have any specialised insurance perhaps, which covers this ? Or would I still end up having to find the person to do the work, and the insurer just pays the bill at the end ? If so that wouldn't really address the problem but it would be a start..depending on how high the premium is of course.

Or does anyone have (say) a contract with a tradesperson, or property maintenance company, or whatever ? Or any other ideas ? It's mostly DIY/minor building work that I'm thinking about.

Any thoughts or suggestions very welcome !

Thank you.

  • If you are in the midlands I'm gifted at fixing and need the money.

    I'll also complain at your kids and try and teach 'em the value of stuff whilst I do it...

  • Also another point is that your children are obviously extremely intelligent. And by throwing things about and acting that way , they are showing you that they are bored. They need the next level of education etc, the one they are on just now is too basic for them. They are of high intelligence. 

  • A lot of autistic children do not act like that. I was very well behaved, and was and still is very careful with things. I would suggest having a conversation with an autistic/behavioural specialist that might be able to help with this. 

    I really do think that you need additional help, such as an assistant to help with their behaviours. Perhaps they just simply need some training. 

    I was always careful with doors, and things as a child. I was taught to be careful. 

    I don't know about the repairs situation, but do have a lock on your office etc, and maybe there is a way to set up a soft room with soft things in it, for them to go to if in a rage or something like that. It sounds very difficult for you. Try to modify things in order that they are safe to be used, for example a chair will still be safe to sit on if covered in some sort of material to make it less likely to damage a door if the chair is thrown at the door. 

    maybe a room with a sofa in it, and other soft furnishings that they can go to for eating and play time etc. Might minimise it. 

    I am not sure if my advice will help you. 

    Hope things get better for you.  

    If there is a way to train them into being very into cleaning and being careful with things that might help too.