• Replies 5 replies
  • Subscribers 69 subscribers
  • Views 1131 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Explaining parent has autism to child

NAS79899

Hi all,

Hoping for some advice. My wife has Aspergers and child NT. She feels very overwhelmed at times when he is asking for attention to the point where she screams for me to take him away from her. I try my best to read the signs, but also want to try and normalise things for my son. 

How and when is the right age to start to explain when and why mummy feels overwhelmed? 

I see lots of conversations the other way around but not much in this respect.

Finding it very hard and got upset this morning as he seemed so confused. He is 4. I understand that she feels overwhelmed but I also feel broken from constantly tiptoeing around trying for her not to feel overwhelmed. I then get told that I have never helped her and that she is disappointed in me. When she is frustrated she says very hurtful things and hard to just forget. 

Any advice would be much appreciated. 

Parents

  • Sounds like she isn't getting the right support from professionals. Don't beat yourself up over it or internalise the criticism in anyway. But do recognise this is beyond her too. 

    I guess the place to start with your little one is just to say 'Mummy loves you, but mummy sees the world differently" It's essential he understands it's not that he did anything wrong, but neither did mum.

    If it's any consolation, I am an autistic mum who raised an NT child alone. I didn't know what to do with this "play" thing because I did not "play" as a kid. Sometimes my son would ask "Mummuy can you play with me" only for me to flounder about not knowing what play consisted of. But we did nonetheless find our other shared interests and ways to interact. I was a good story reader and explainer of dinosaurs. I taught him to read before reception. My son is my world and I adore him like no other human being - he knows that and he knows he is loved beyond words. He's 27 and a philosophy graduate now.

Reply

  • Sounds like she isn't getting the right support from professionals. Don't beat yourself up over it or internalise the criticism in anyway. But do recognise this is beyond her too. 

    I guess the place to start with your little one is just to say 'Mummy loves you, but mummy sees the world differently" It's essential he understands it's not that he did anything wrong, but neither did mum.

    If it's any consolation, I am an autistic mum who raised an NT child alone. I didn't know what to do with this "play" thing because I did not "play" as a kid. Sometimes my son would ask "Mummuy can you play with me" only for me to flounder about not knowing what play consisted of. But we did nonetheless find our other shared interests and ways to interact. I was a good story reader and explainer of dinosaurs. I taught him to read before reception. My son is my world and I adore him like no other human being - he knows that and he knows he is loved beyond words. He's 27 and a philosophy graduate now.

Children
No Data