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Help! Moving son in to Full time care

sjm3

Hi, my son is 20 non verbal severe autism with learning and behaviour issues, increasing aggression is getting worse and i just can't cope anymore , totally scared of him as i get the full force when his mood is bad ( single parent with 2 other younger sons) i am waiting for yet another social worker as our latest has left ( will be 3rd one in 2 years..so far.... grand total of 15 social workers over 18 years but thats a whole  other issues...) So my question is, and it may seem silly but once i get things started and find some place , once hes moved out etc, if his behaviour is really bad is it possible they can ask him to leave, or will they manage him no matter what ? i have no clue. and if anyone knows what questions i should be asking when i go view places, that would be great, i have my own list but i may miss something. i did start this process just before covid hit and he got offered 2 options but because everything was closing etc i said to leave it thinking it would be just a few months..ha! how wrong was i, so i know he will get funding, its just getting this new social worker to start it off again.

Sorry rambling! any advice or experience very much welcomed!

Parents

  • Ask the care provider how they deal with challenging behaviour. Are staff trained in de-escalation and behaviour management? What is their policy on "handling" and restraint?

    I am thinking that possibly your son lacks capacity to consent to this arrangement. Your social worker should be able to explain about the Mental Capacity Act and "Deprivation of Liberty" - this means if he is subject to constant supervision and control, even if he is not objecting - so locked doors, intrusive supervision, covert medication etc. all need authorisation. Ask for an Independent Mental Capacity Advocate for you both.

    As someone with experience of visiting care homes, the first think I do is sniff! Does the place smell "clinical" (e.g. disinfectant) or, worse still, of stale pee? That's a big red flag.  Are residents able to bring a favourite duvet, for example? Is there a notice board for residents' photos and memorabilia? Are visual timetables etc, on display?

    What choice do residents have regarding meals and how do non-verbal residents express their chooice?

    Can residents choose when to get up and go to bed or is there a routine to suit the care staff?

    Does your son have any special interests and how can they be met?

    Is there a friends and carers group or similar? Can you talk to another parent or carer with a relative in the home? coming in regularly it makes abuse harder to cover up.

    Are there links to the community?  If there are outside visitors

    I hope that is a start ... feel free to message me if you want to talk further,

Reply

  • Ask the care provider how they deal with challenging behaviour. Are staff trained in de-escalation and behaviour management? What is their policy on "handling" and restraint?

    I am thinking that possibly your son lacks capacity to consent to this arrangement. Your social worker should be able to explain about the Mental Capacity Act and "Deprivation of Liberty" - this means if he is subject to constant supervision and control, even if he is not objecting - so locked doors, intrusive supervision, covert medication etc. all need authorisation. Ask for an Independent Mental Capacity Advocate for you both.

    As someone with experience of visiting care homes, the first think I do is sniff! Does the place smell "clinical" (e.g. disinfectant) or, worse still, of stale pee? That's a big red flag.  Are residents able to bring a favourite duvet, for example? Is there a notice board for residents' photos and memorabilia? Are visual timetables etc, on display?

    What choice do residents have regarding meals and how do non-verbal residents express their chooice?

    Can residents choose when to get up and go to bed or is there a routine to suit the care staff?

    Does your son have any special interests and how can they be met?

    Is there a friends and carers group or similar? Can you talk to another parent or carer with a relative in the home? coming in regularly it makes abuse harder to cover up.

    Are there links to the community?  If there are outside visitors

    I hope that is a start ... feel free to message me if you want to talk further,

Children
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