My 9 year old daughter

This doesn't sound productive. I'm sorry. It also doesn't sound beneficial for her in the long run.

The part that feels a bit off here is her enjoying pushing you over your threshold and that is a very dark part of our society. Somehow, you need to A. become her most valuable support and B. work out where she's being dominated in this way and learning that this is OK. 

It could be good to get an understanding of what's happening - does she feel ignored and forced to unreasonable expectations in other ways? Is there a family member who enjoys teasing her who she feels irritated by? 

We all want things. Usually autistic individuals end up in defence mode and want to be left alone or want help. But when anyone just wants a type of undisciplined 'freedom' which is harmful to another, they are eventually rejected by society. 

It may be wise to send the cat to a friends house or parent for a little bit of time if you need be. But it's far more important you become incredibly reliable. This may mean making responsible adjustments. Considering a yes or no and then sticking to it no matter what. 

I would also find movies you can watch together which can help her understand principles of being human. 

I can recall being young and rarely feeling this kind of enjoyment of another's suffering except in extreme cases of injustice or being so well beyond my threshold that some very dark human-ness emerged. For spite and even a kind of sadism, one has to be incredibly battered and abused, neglected and dismissed. But for a child who's life feels like chaos, it could simply be they desire a parent to assert order and boundaries and act like shield. She might need protection in loads of little ways - all matters of sensory elements and cruelties at school. Something is going on and maybe it's time to find a therapist?

This doesn't sound productive. I'm sorry. It also doesn't sound beneficial for her in the long run.

The part that feels a bit off here is her enjoying pushing you over your threshold and that is a very dark part of our society. Somehow, you need to A. become her most valuable support and B. work out where she's being dominated in this way and learning that this is OK. 

It could be good to get an understanding of what's happening - does she feel ignored and forced to unreasonable expectations in other ways? Is there a family member who enjoys teasing her who she feels irritated by? 

We all want things. Usually autistic individuals end up in defence mode and want to be left alone or want help. But when anyone just wants a type of undisciplined 'freedom' which is harmful to another, they are eventually rejected by society. 

It may be wise to send the cat to a friends house or parent for a little bit of time if you need be. But it's far more important you become incredibly reliable. This may mean making responsible adjustments. Considering a yes or no and then sticking to it no matter what. 

I would also find movies you can watch together which can help her understand principles of being human. 

I can recall being young and rarely feeling this kind of enjoyment of another's suffering except in extreme cases of injustice or being so well beyond my threshold that some very dark human-ness emerged. For spite and even a kind of sadism, one has to be incredibly battered and abused, neglected and dismissed. But for a child who's life feels like chaos, it could simply be they desire a parent to assert order and boundaries and act like shield. She might need protection in loads of little ways - all matters of sensory elements and cruelties at school. Something is going on and maybe it's time to find a therapist?