General ASD advice for toddler

Hi all, my son is nearly 3 and on the asd pathway. His behaviour some days is hard to deal with. He hits/pulls hair and screams loudly when he doesn't get his way. What therapies can I look into that might help him manage his behaviour? He starts preschool at a state setting in September and Im terrified that the sheer number of children in the classroom is going to be very overwhelming for him and he may become violent towards other children. 

I'm also worried that he's not potty trained yet and I don't think I can get it done before he starts preschool. Has anyone had a child in mainstream school whose not potty trained? Im just v worried in general about him starting preschool. The school initially rejected his application (i was honest on the form about his needs) and it wasn't until I had found out other children out of catchment with no sibling at the school (my daughter already attends the school) had been offered places, and a letter of complaint to the head, that my son was then given a place. He was basically discriminated against because I was honest. This has made my v weary and worried that they will try to exclude him in the future. 

Any tips on how to help 3 yr old settle in a new setting and prepare them etc. He has little understanding of anything outside his routine. 

  • Hi , in addition to the member's response above, you can visit our Education choices page https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/education/education-choice. Choose from one of the countries, then select 'Choosing a school'.

    In terms of behaviour, you may like to have a look at the following link for more information on behaviour and strategies: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour.

    Individuals on the spectrum can often display behaviour that may be challenging. There will generally be a reason for this and it is important to try and understand the trigger for the behaviour when developing strategies.  

    You may be interested in seeking some professional support regarding the behaviour. You can search for professionals in your area we are aware of on the Autism Services Directory: https://www.autism.org.uk/directory.

    You might also like to take a look at The Challenging Behaviour Foundation website for further information and advice: 

    https://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk.  They also have an information and support service which you can contact by phone or email – details can be found here: https://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk/for-family-carers/family-support-service/.

    Our Toileting guide may also be useful: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/toileting

    Hope these help.

    Best wishes,

    Anna Mod

  • Hi thank you for replying, I am sorry to hear your having a difficult time with your school with aftercare. My son is currently in a private nursery setting so they're open till 6 so working fulltime for me is currently OK. I am dreading when my son starts school in 2023 as I know aftercare will also be an issue. 

    Unfortunately no village schools nearby, the school he will be enrolled into for preschool  And hopefully reception is the smallest in my area. My daughter also attends the school so I need them both in the same place as school drops and picks would be impossible. 

    I hope you find the right school for your daughter and they are more accomodating. 

  • Hi, 

    I don’t have any advice but my daughter is in a similar situation. She has been refused after school club and the school doesn’t seem to want to help. We are struggling to get our daughter diagnosed but I feel it may be autism. She’s currently waiting for an assessment to be sent to her nursery. 

    children going to school is so stressful without having to put pressure on them to “be like the others” if my girls not ready to leave pull ups then the school will have to understand. Have you looked at smaller schools? I’ve recently been recommended a village school who are more open to children with Sen. I hope someone on here can help answer all your questions. I’ll take the advise too.