GCSE refusal

Hi, Do you know why he is refusing to take his exams? Is the stress maybe too much? Or the fear of not doing well? I am always insanely stressed for exams to the point where I  have considered not going (though the time I almost didn't go was at uni)- I did always end up taking the exams, mainly because I had a clear aim in my mind and needed the exams and I wanted to do well... plus all the stress and preparation would have been pointless if I did not at least give it a try. Exams can be a lot to handle and GCSEs are often the first serious exams so it can get very stressful- the stress doesn't have to come from the outside- I tend to put myself under a lot of pressure. I think working out what it is about the exams that makes him not want to take them is crucial to moving forward. Does the school have any idea why he is refusing to take exams? 

Do you know why any mention of autism sends him into a frenzy? 

Does he have any interests or subjects that he particularly enjoys? Any career aims? It can really help to motivate yourself to face difficult situations (like exams) when you know that you need to do this to move towards a goal (eg. like going to university). Maybe  something related to programming or video games? There are even higher education courses related to video games that you can take- someone at my school actually did a Bachelor specifically geared towards programming and designing video games. There are so so many options out there.

I hope you find a way forward! 

PDA.  That's him.  I've been sitting here for the last 3 hours reading everything. 

Just something I'm struggling with - the advice seems to be stand back and let him find his own way - but be supportive.  have I got this right?

Hi, I don't know much about PDA but in general I think it is usually preferable to be motivated intrinsically to do things. I think like you say, being supportive and helping him work out what he wants to do and needs to do to achieve his goals is a good approach. Especially for things that are difficult, it helps if you make up your mind that you want to/need to do them- that is so much more powerful than feeling like you have to bend to external pressures.  I am a very intrinsically motivated person and I do not respond well to external pressure (I just get super stressed out, which can result in paralysis and have the opposite effect)- but everyone responds differently. As others have suggested on this forum, you can help him see his options/choices and the benefits/consequences of them. I hope you figure out what works best for you and your son. 

Jamie & Anne - thanks.  What you've both said has really made me think.  If I start from the premis that he wants to take his GCSE's - which he does - then I guess need to give him options as to how that is made possible.  I'm going to print an information sheet - go into school, get them all aboard and go from there.  And speak to and learn from as many PDA individuals as I can.  There has to be a way!

Jamie & Anne - thanks.  What you've both said has really made me think.  If I start from the premis that he wants to take his GCSE's - which he does - then I guess need to give him options as to how that is made possible.  I'm going to print an information sheet - go into school, get them all aboard and go from there.  And speak to and learn from as many PDA individuals as I can.  There has to be a way!