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Dangerous and Disrutive behaviour.

ParentingAutism

Many issues come with parenting my daughter. We try our best to help but we don't know where to start or what to do. School have told me today that she absconded and then fell asleep on the pavement. Why? 

The school have seen an escalation in her dangerous and disruptive behaviours. They have escalated quickly and involve a number of serious incidents. She has severe anxiety and as her anxities increase, she will become quiet and withdrawn and will seek a quiet space, every from staff. She has difficulty accessing designated safe spaces and will often refuse to use these. If continued to be heightened, she will abscond from school. She displays challenging behaviour when off site, including, approaching strangers, injuring herself and staff, displaying unsafe behaviours next to a busy road. She often hits out at staff as a way of coping during times of distress, uncertainty, or when her verbal communication is limited. Staff feel like she is trying to control her environment.  

She fell asleep on the pavement, anyone could've taken her. I don't know why things have escalated. She used to have little incidents which happened everyday and is now coping better and doesn't really have bad incidents anymore but when she does, they are really bad. 

When she does go offiste, the only people who follow her are her staff and they give her space and if she runs they won't run after her which I believe is helping her because she won't run, only walk and it doesn't take as long to calm down. 

Parents

  • I forgot to mention, she has come home with pink hair, yes, pink hair. She decided to colour in her hair. She also coloured in a staff members shoes, and apparently she had permission to do this by this staff. She also drew on staffs hands and face. They are going to find something appropriate she can draw on when she feels like it. I don't know why staff are letting her do this but I understand they got to pick and choose their battles and she's happy and she's not drawing anything rude and they can wash it off but still. 

  • in reply to ParentingAutism

    She has told me that her leg is swollen and bruised, the other leg this time. I believe it was when she jumped the fence. I don't know why she's hurting herself a lot. She'll go through phases where she's slightly unwell, and anything she does, she'll just bruise. But other times, she can do whatever, fall over, walk into the fridge, and she won't even complain it hurts, nothing happens. Weird right? 

  • in reply to ParentingAutism

    All autistics will be incredibly accident prone if subjected to a sort of chaos and/or they are not protected  and nurtured into a form of intentional focus on one-thing-to-completion. One of the simplest ways to learn this can be through speaking out loud through a task. Walking down the stairs: internally reminding myself this is the current task & counting the steps out loud as I walk. Eventually this will all become internal. 

    Everyone has innate abilities. When these are undisciplined they can actually hinder or even slowly destroy the human. For Autistics, our brain is already taking in a wealth of information which would put most NeuroTypicals in to a mental ward. We have the capacity to deal with this but will only thrive when not thrust into external chaos as well and trained with recognised understanding of our valuable qualities. Our brain will quiet with a resource of problems to solve in an uncluttered, quiet and predictable space. 

    She is constantly trying to escape, so unfortunately it sounds like she is continually surrounded by too much chaos and in a state of surviving. She needs order and possibly silence to thrive. Once she has an ability to focus on becoming herself, it will be easier to navigate her surroundings, which may include boundaries or refusing to engage with anyone who cannot afford her respect.

    These phases sound like she may be withdrawn or so overwhelmed that she cannot think straight. So yes, sometimes she may not notice. 

    I know this is an ongoing struggle. What sort of bullet points would help remind you to help protect how she functions so she can thrive?

  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey

    Thank you, I have spoken to the school today, and they said she was overwhelmed by too many people and noises and every room was busy so gave her as many options where should could go to complete work ot just calm down. She didn't like the sound of any but then agreed to sit with another student who is extremely quiet, where she completed all her work and calmed herself down quickly and continued with her day. 

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  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey

    Thank you, I have spoken to the school today, and they said she was overwhelmed by too many people and noises and every room was busy so gave her as many options where should could go to complete work ot just calm down. She didn't like the sound of any but then agreed to sit with another student who is extremely quiet, where she completed all her work and calmed herself down quickly and continued with her day. 

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