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Advice re parenting

CazzaK

My OH (Aspergers) finds it very difficult to parent his children twin boys 19 and daughter 14, over the years all 3 of them have led him a merry dance because of this.  Particularly his daughter who quite simply plays on his lack of discipline and parenting.   His daughter is anorexic and they see a dietician every 2 weeks, there is a menu plan in place which is very specific and very straight forward.   I can not get OH to understand the damage his daughter is doing to herself, he needs to support her and encourage her to eat when she is with us 40% of the time.  He hates confrontation, the nature of this illness does cause volatility, there have been plenty of tantrum, to avoid this he doesn't encourage her to eat her required calories and backs down immediately if she defies or confronts him.   To try and shock him into taking responsibility I asked how he would feel in 10 / 15 years time when she was unable to have children, he just shrugged and said her problem.  I'm struggling to understand and accept this blase attitude - will we ever be able to get him step up to the mark?  I

Parents

  • What are her allergies. What is her blood type? 

    If we measure nutrition by calories, we’ve missed the point of “fuelling our systems”. Rather one needs proper vitamins and minerals and to stay hydrated not just with water but also a balance of slay and sugars. 

    Depending on your genetics, certain food sources may actually cause more harm than good. It’s also ok to note that Jane Goodall managed to live off of mostly bananas, which have similar nutritional properties to a potato. 

    Your OH being Autistic might be willing to look into the value of proper nutrients and dietary needs rather than force his daughter to eat. It could be prudent to have her tested for allergies as early warning signs for Coeliac present similar to what you’re describing. If she has an allergy to this she will constantly feel full, possibly even not communicate pain for a lack of understanding and it will be robbing her of nutrients in her digestive tract. It is never good to force anyone to eat. Children do eat when they’re hungry, but I would air on the side of caution. Forcing someone with dietary issues could be subjecting them to a type of torture. 

    This doesn’t mean this is happening, but it’s really important in this day and age to investigate further. Foods are modified beyond what sensitive humans can handle. Autistic sensory issues are genetic. 

    I lived off of carrots and almonds with a few other bits of plain meat or fruit for almost 5 years before we started really discovering what I could not digest. When in doubt supplement with vitamins and find a few things she can eat. Even a jacket potato with butter every night is a good source when food is scary and the child cannot express why. 

    To note, not all dieticians are exploring these possibilities. But perhaps this has. 

  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey

    Basically, if you can get both father and daughter interested in biology, perhaps it will change how everyone engages in this matter:)

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