Despair of NAS local branches

I have decided to start a discussion on here for the first time after a thoroughly depressing weekend arguing with my local NAS "support group". My family is struggling (I don't need to go in to details-we all know how it is). A while back I decided to turn off notifications from the group on Facebook because on bad days I find their insensitive and ignorant posts can tip me over the edge. I have not attended any NAS events for some time because of the same problems - the NAS should be sanctuary for us, not another place to feel more pressure and ignorance. At times my experiences within the NAS branch has confounded me. I have made pro-active suggestions in the past only to be shot down or derided because, as I see it, some members negatively use groups as a way of coping - by micro-managing and raising their self-esteem (at the expense of others I may add) by point scoring about who does the most. I was going to keep quiet because over the years I have learnt to conserve energy and what works for my family. However a few other friends also raised the same concerns and I decided to take a stand and made a plea for some etiquette to be shown as technology can be intrusive if we don't consider the impact our words can have. So ensued yet more ignorance and point-scoring. Every few years our branch is on the brink of folding because parents - somewhat deludedly in my opinion-overstretch themselves and commit to more than they are capable of achieving. I have professional experience of using voluntary schemes to deliver services to vulnerable people and have suggested we need to look long-term to prevent this recurring problem. Part of me wants to wash my hands of the whole thing because I have built up my own support network over time, but another part of me feels I should make a stand because this is the one place I should not feel exclusion. Does anyone have any solutions? I have struggled over the past few days to feel we belong anywhere and I'm tired of the petty bickering. I saw with interest that other members have felt similarly and I think it's great we can have open discussion because the isolation I have felt has been awful and I know I'm not alone...

Parents
  • Thanks Susie,

    I have received some unexpected support for what I've said and it's good to have my feelings validated and know others have encountered similar attitudes. I think there can be a group psychology, which I've always struggled with since I was at school-& considering social communication is one of the triad of impairments I'd expect more sensitivity from people that should know better.

    I am feeling reckless because I have nothing left to lose by speaking out. I feel excluded  by not joining in with the cliques that form and if I speak out I get bullied so I may as well speak out because either way I'm excluded. 

    Has anyone got any suggestions for how to successfully and smoothly run a branch?

    I had a volunteer offer her services to the NAS (through my job) and her calls were never returned by the contact I gave her - I suspect because the secretary didn't want to relinquish some control. Another friend donated a sustantial amount through sponsorship by competing in a major sporting event & never received a word of thanks. It's corrupt.

    The focus on fund-raising that seems to dominate our group is, I think, an avoidance of painful emotions. 

Reply
  • Thanks Susie,

    I have received some unexpected support for what I've said and it's good to have my feelings validated and know others have encountered similar attitudes. I think there can be a group psychology, which I've always struggled with since I was at school-& considering social communication is one of the triad of impairments I'd expect more sensitivity from people that should know better.

    I am feeling reckless because I have nothing left to lose by speaking out. I feel excluded  by not joining in with the cliques that form and if I speak out I get bullied so I may as well speak out because either way I'm excluded. 

    Has anyone got any suggestions for how to successfully and smoothly run a branch?

    I had a volunteer offer her services to the NAS (through my job) and her calls were never returned by the contact I gave her - I suspect because the secretary didn't want to relinquish some control. Another friend donated a sustantial amount through sponsorship by competing in a major sporting event & never received a word of thanks. It's corrupt.

    The focus on fund-raising that seems to dominate our group is, I think, an avoidance of painful emotions. 

Children
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