Despair of NAS local branches

I have decided to start a discussion on here for the first time after a thoroughly depressing weekend arguing with my local NAS "support group". My family is struggling (I don't need to go in to details-we all know how it is). A while back I decided to turn off notifications from the group on Facebook because on bad days I find their insensitive and ignorant posts can tip me over the edge. I have not attended any NAS events for some time because of the same problems - the NAS should be sanctuary for us, not another place to feel more pressure and ignorance. At times my experiences within the NAS branch has confounded me. I have made pro-active suggestions in the past only to be shot down or derided because, as I see it, some members negatively use groups as a way of coping - by micro-managing and raising their self-esteem (at the expense of others I may add) by point scoring about who does the most. I was going to keep quiet because over the years I have learnt to conserve energy and what works for my family. However a few other friends also raised the same concerns and I decided to take a stand and made a plea for some etiquette to be shown as technology can be intrusive if we don't consider the impact our words can have. So ensued yet more ignorance and point-scoring. Every few years our branch is on the brink of folding because parents - somewhat deludedly in my opinion-overstretch themselves and commit to more than they are capable of achieving. I have professional experience of using voluntary schemes to deliver services to vulnerable people and have suggested we need to look long-term to prevent this recurring problem. Part of me wants to wash my hands of the whole thing because I have built up my own support network over time, but another part of me feels I should make a stand because this is the one place I should not feel exclusion. Does anyone have any solutions? I have struggled over the past few days to feel we belong anywhere and I'm tired of the petty bickering. I saw with interest that other members have felt similarly and I think it's great we can have open discussion because the isolation I have felt has been awful and I know I'm not alone...

Parents
  • Hello CrimsonSnow,

    Firstly, I'm with you on the facebook issue - I'm forever reactivating/deactivating my account because it tips me also. Secondly, my family struggles too but we find the organisations that are intended to help us are incredibly ignorant of our issues and needs. I may be putting myself out on a very shaky limb here but... I fully understand what you say about point scoring. And that people have their own agendas which often totally alienate the groups they "support". I have washed my hands and walked away from one or two things but still regret not "hanging in and speaking out". Thing is, the times I've spoken out (maybe out of line and against the flow) i have - eventually - recieved good feedback. I realise that my honesty is rather more blunt than tactful but we should never be afraid to speak our minds - easier said than done eh?

Reply
  • Hello CrimsonSnow,

    Firstly, I'm with you on the facebook issue - I'm forever reactivating/deactivating my account because it tips me also. Secondly, my family struggles too but we find the organisations that are intended to help us are incredibly ignorant of our issues and needs. I may be putting myself out on a very shaky limb here but... I fully understand what you say about point scoring. And that people have their own agendas which often totally alienate the groups they "support". I have washed my hands and walked away from one or two things but still regret not "hanging in and speaking out". Thing is, the times I've spoken out (maybe out of line and against the flow) i have - eventually - recieved good feedback. I realise that my honesty is rather more blunt than tactful but we should never be afraid to speak our minds - easier said than done eh?

Children
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