11 year old daughter assessment

Hi everyone

Im new to all this and just would like to see other peoples opinions on this one as i feel a little bit alone. 

My daughter is 11. Shes shown signs of autism since a baby although we put it down to other things, she had hearing loss..hence the slow talking, she had a duplex kidnet...hence the bedwetting at night. Etc

As shes gotten older she is drifting apart from her friends. Although doing well in school she is suffering witb bad anxiety and still having meltdowns and "tantrums"  i know hormones are kicking in etc. She has her first assessment on monday. 

she masks her autism in school, and only has meltdowns with me at home. Or my sisters. She doesnt at her dads and shes told me kts because she cant let her dad and his wife see her behave that way. So she knows the behaviour is wrong. Theyre convinced shes just being naughty for me. Although i think its more deepseated. 

I suppose my question to you all is, can an autistic child mask it with certain people and let it out with others. If it was a sensory overload, would they not just have the meltdown with anyone? Or does she hold it in then likea bottle of pop, it explodes for me over a little thing. 

Any input would be great. Thankyiu

Parents
  • My son masked in school and with other people but had meltdowns at home. The meltdowns happen when in their safe place where they can relax.

    We have had problems convincing others of his difficulties with friends and school and thinking he was misbehaving with us. Difficulties at home were usually linked with something that had happened at school or a challenging environment. This made it difficult to get to the stage of asking for a diagnosis but when he was finally diagnosed we were told there was no doubt. 

    It has helped to have a diagnosis now he is ot Secondary school for him to get the support and understanding he needs.

Reply
  • My son masked in school and with other people but had meltdowns at home. The meltdowns happen when in their safe place where they can relax.

    We have had problems convincing others of his difficulties with friends and school and thinking he was misbehaving with us. Difficulties at home were usually linked with something that had happened at school or a challenging environment. This made it difficult to get to the stage of asking for a diagnosis but when he was finally diagnosed we were told there was no doubt. 

    It has helped to have a diagnosis now he is ot Secondary school for him to get the support and understanding he needs.

Children
  • Thankyou. Yes this is like my daughter. Her dad said its behavioural and attention seeking but its normally after.somethin small has happened in school etc. The other day it was a meltdown because she asked me.if my new psrtner hugs me. I said yes and she flew off the handle. Uncontrollably screaming, hurting herself etc. Her dad says "well shes never like this with me" but she said she feels sad when her dad hugs his eife but she cant show him....why wont she control this for me then? 

  • well done, you might yet save him from live where anxiety is your best friend, inadvertently leading to butnout at some point,

    my observations reveal it happens between 20th and 40th of age, for each of us who wasn't prepared for reality of adulthood and who wasn't shielded in childhood so couldn't develop normaly.

    if parents are not supportive we are screwed, and not all parents are .... my were not, one still alive still isn't willing to consider even.