Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone
Im new to all this and just would like to see other peoples opinions on this one as i feel a little bit alone.
My daughter is 11. Shes shown signs of autism since a baby although we put it down to other things, she had hearing loss..hence the slow talking, she had a duplex kidnet...hence the bedwetting at night. Etc
As shes gotten older she is drifting apart from her friends. Although doing well in school she is suffering witb bad anxiety and still having meltdowns and "tantrums" i know hormones are kicking in etc. She has her first assessment on monday.
she masks her autism in school, and only has meltdowns with me at home. Or my sisters. She doesnt at her dads and shes told me kts because she cant let her dad and his wife see her behave that way. So she knows the behaviour is wrong. Theyre convinced shes just being naughty for me. Although i think its more deepseated.
I suppose my question to you all is, can an autistic child mask it with certain people and let it out with others. If it was a sensory overload, would they not just have the meltdown with anyone? Or does she hold it in then likea bottle of pop, it explodes for me over a little thing.
Any input would be great. Thankyiu
Meltdown can be very peaceful, quiet and motionless if nobody interfers with its progress
Yes, though that sounds more like either my shut downs, or puddle of tears type melt downs. As a toddler in doctors' surgeries I'd lock up and freeze. No one could get a word out of me or get me to respond physically. Of course, they are so quiet that no one recognises the terror that's causing it. They have happened in adult hood too in medical situations. That, or I've suddenly taken flight with no idea where I'm going or what is around me.
The puddle of tears type, I feel coming, but don't remember much later. They are rare and I generally get to a quiet space and they are rarely seen by anyone. My close friend walked in on one once. We didn't know I was autistic then. She tells me it was like I was in physical pain with the distress and the tears and she couldn't get any sense out of me. She kept asking me what she could do for me and the only word I could produce was "nothing".
The full on explosive wall thumping, self harming and swearing type I never had until I was in my 50s and they took my teeth. And then they were coming thick and fast. At a number of points I couldn't cope with the sensory bombardment in my mouth or escape it. And then there was the abject terror fueling it. It's a behaviour that just isn't little hippy peace lover me. I had no idea what was happening to me or why. It was like being taken over by a monster and I thought I was going mad...until I worked out I was autistic.
I know the feeling, years between 7 and 10 I was crying out oceans of tears into a pillow.
and now my sarcastic nature makes me say: added bonus - you will never forget that,
but that means as well that oceans are dry now, no more crying