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Advice required

NAS79735

We are struggling massively with our 9 yo daughter. Currently in mainstream school who seem uninterested in helping.

At school they have opened up a 'safe space' at break and lunch time as they feel she struggles to be 'sociable' with other children. She is an absolute nightmare to get in too school of a morning to the point we have to get help from a teacher to get her in. Once through the door she settles and is fine, very intelligent and excels in all her work. However when she gets home it's like a bottle of pop that has been shook up all day and then the explosion hits us. Swearing physical attacks on both parents and siblings. It's like she has lost all control of any emotions and is completely unaware how to bring herself back down. (Laughing whilest crying etc).

We just don't know what the next step is, school have said because she is ok with the academic side there's no point filling in the forms for the school nurse team to just knock it back. Any advice would be much appreciated

Parents

  • To me this also sounds like she has to make a huge effort to mask and hold it together at school, so when she comes home it just all comes out. It reminds me of myself : I did very well academically and was very well behaved at school but at home I would often get into bad arguments with my stepfather, I am ashamed of this but I think in a way this was my way of letting off steam. School can be extremely draining and exhausting for an autistic person. Just because everything seems fine on the academic side doesn't mean it is all fine- it can take a huge huge effort. I'm sorry, I don't really have any practical advice- I just wanted to say I can relate to this- to being a different person at school than at home or in other settings and  it can be very exhausting. I don't know but I think the masking and not being able to be yourself and take care of your needs can be a huge problem- I wish I had known that I was autistic at the time- it's a fine balance, but I wish I had masked less and had been more accepting of myself and my needs- it can be so detrimental - Have you talked to your daughter about school and what she aspects she finds difficult and what she thinks could help? 

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  • To me this also sounds like she has to make a huge effort to mask and hold it together at school, so when she comes home it just all comes out. It reminds me of myself : I did very well academically and was very well behaved at school but at home I would often get into bad arguments with my stepfather, I am ashamed of this but I think in a way this was my way of letting off steam. School can be extremely draining and exhausting for an autistic person. Just because everything seems fine on the academic side doesn't mean it is all fine- it can take a huge huge effort. I'm sorry, I don't really have any practical advice- I just wanted to say I can relate to this- to being a different person at school than at home or in other settings and  it can be very exhausting. I don't know but I think the masking and not being able to be yourself and take care of your needs can be a huge problem- I wish I had known that I was autistic at the time- it's a fine balance, but I wish I had masked less and had been more accepting of myself and my needs- it can be so detrimental - Have you talked to your daughter about school and what she aspects she finds difficult and what she thinks could help? 

Children
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