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Advice required

NAS79735

We are struggling massively with our 9 yo daughter. Currently in mainstream school who seem uninterested in helping.

At school they have opened up a 'safe space' at break and lunch time as they feel she struggles to be 'sociable' with other children. She is an absolute nightmare to get in too school of a morning to the point we have to get help from a teacher to get her in. Once through the door she settles and is fine, very intelligent and excels in all her work. However when she gets home it's like a bottle of pop that has been shook up all day and then the explosion hits us. Swearing physical attacks on both parents and siblings. It's like she has lost all control of any emotions and is completely unaware how to bring herself back down. (Laughing whilest crying etc).

We just don't know what the next step is, school have said because she is ok with the academic side there's no point filling in the forms for the school nurse team to just knock it back. Any advice would be much appreciated

Parents

  • Does your daughter have a diagnosis yet? If not, the school or your GP must take this seriously. If so, the school need to be doing a lot more to help reduce the sensory and social overload.  She may look fine, but she is far from it, poor love. She will have been 'controlling' emotions and sensations she maybe can't even pinpoint ALL day to an unimaginable degree and by time she gets home, just can't do it any more. Her system is way overloaded and needs to exorcise it.

    The explosive meltdowns at home are the result of her daily distress. It's huge and she can't help them. All I can suggest there is that for the sake of the rest of the family, she has a space to go and be safe while they play out. Maybe if she develops an understanding of why she's going through this, knows she's not to blame for them, but knows she needs to play them out other than on people (depends on how well she can feel it rise, or whether they take her by surprise)...

    Can you get her a punch bag she can release her furry on? I have a cousin, also on the Spectrum, who is at university now. Lovely, kind lass, but this happens to her too. She uses the punch bag to vent the overload.

Reply

  • Does your daughter have a diagnosis yet? If not, the school or your GP must take this seriously. If so, the school need to be doing a lot more to help reduce the sensory and social overload.  She may look fine, but she is far from it, poor love. She will have been 'controlling' emotions and sensations she maybe can't even pinpoint ALL day to an unimaginable degree and by time she gets home, just can't do it any more. Her system is way overloaded and needs to exorcise it.

    The explosive meltdowns at home are the result of her daily distress. It's huge and she can't help them. All I can suggest there is that for the sake of the rest of the family, she has a space to go and be safe while they play out. Maybe if she develops an understanding of why she's going through this, knows she's not to blame for them, but knows she needs to play them out other than on people (depends on how well she can feel it rise, or whether they take her by surprise)...

    Can you get her a punch bag she can release her furry on? I have a cousin, also on the Spectrum, who is at university now. Lovely, kind lass, but this happens to her too. She uses the punch bag to vent the overload.

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